


Why don't you be you and I'll be me?

by kittymannequin



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, Ex Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, ex lovers to friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-14 08:40:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5737003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittymannequin/pseuds/kittymannequin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when your past comes back knocking at your door? Do you just let go of everything you have for everything you've ever wanted? <br/>If it's still what you want, then the answer should be fairly obvious, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We live through scars, this time

“Mmm,” a low voice escaped her lips as Korra finally came to from the sleeping haze with her mind still enveloped with the sweet innocence of dreams. She tilted her head slightly, unable to stifle the moan that ached to pass her lips when a particularly skilled pair of fingers slipped past the usually tight ring of muscle at her entrance without so much as a freckle of resistance. The way those same fingers curled inside her and hit that swollen spot was far from innocence she had just been woken up from. “F-fuck…” She gasped, “I… oh god…” Her lips quivered with need, “I didn’t know I could be this wet the second I wake up…” She managed to mumble before another moan tore from her throat, followed by a brisk, short intake of breath, “oh fuck!” She arched her back and gripped the sheet beneath her fingers. “Just like that… Fuck, yes, keep it up…”

“I know what I’m doing Korra,” Another voice joined hers, one slightly lighter than her own, “Remember how well I did this last night?” The voice was tinged with a devious note and soon after Korra could feel hot, soft lips latch onto her neck, peppering wet kisses over it.

Korra hummed her approval as all words died out in her throat and her lips twitched in a smirk when the fingers inside her began moving in a slow, tantalizing rhythm, curling each time Korra would clench down around them. When the pace began rising steadily, her muscles would clench down harder around the fingers, fluttering with the inevitable climax she was fast approaching. Another hoarse cry tore from her throat and Korra arched her back one more time before a series of intense waves of pleasure washed over her when those fingers curled inside her precisely when a third finger pressed against her aching clit. The sensations were all too much and Korra could do nothing other than let the rippling waves pass through her with her eyes clenched tight and her heart thumping rapidly in her chest. When she finally fell back down on the bed the lips on her neck began a slow ascent up her chin, meeting her own lips and stifling her groan that escaped her when the fingers inside her began sliding out.

“Fuck…” Korra murmured against those soft lips, “That was one hell of a way to wake up.” She blinked her eyes open and immediately smiled when bright green eyes met her own.

“I aim to please,” The wonderful raven-haired beauty beside her spoke in a languid, barely audible voice, staring right back into Korra’s eyes.

Korra tilted her head for a moment, glancing over her shoulder and at the clock on the drawer beside her bed. It said 7.43am and Korra chuckled when she turned back, grinning from ear to ear. “Well you sure were in the mood early today, hm?”

“I couldn’t help myself. I missed you, y’know?”

“I missed you too. But this is the last time I’m away this year so we can finally enjoy ourselves. And for a while.” Korra smiled, pecking the woman’s lips.

“Korra, I know we haven’t really been okay lately but I-”

“Hey,” Korra murmured, slipping an arm around that wonderfully supple waist, “We’ll talk about us later, okay? Right now I want to…” Korra’s cheeks grew warmer and she swallowed thickly when green eyes locked on her own, “I…”

“Hmmm?”

“I want to return the favour.” Korra finally spoke, her voice throaty with desire. “Feel you,” Korra’s hands slid a little lower, cupping the woman’s backside. “Caress you for hours.” She squeezed gently, earning herself a low groan. “Hear your moans,” another squeeze, “And pleas,” and another, “And your screams.” She dragged her blunt nails over the shapely mounds and let her hands rest on soft thighs as she pulled the other on top of herself. Korra looked up to meet her eyes and her lips curled in a smirk at the hazy look in the other’s eyes. “I can’t wait to taste you.” Korra murmured with a grin and swiftly used her strength as leverage to flip their position. She braced herself on her elbows and reveled in the sight of raven hair splayed over the pillow. “My god, you’re beautiful.”

Green eyes sparkled with something more than just desire and Korra’s heart swelled in her chest when nimble, soft hands found their way into her hair and gentle arms wrapped around her neck.

“I love you, Korra.”

Korra leaned down once more, capturing a pair of wanting lips in a deep, longing kiss. When she pulled back, she couldn’t possibly stop a smile from spreading across her face.

“I love you too, Opal.”


	2. Love with every stranger, the stranger the better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waah I'm on a spree with this one! \o/ And to those who've dropped it the second after they finished reading the first chapter - you're missing out ;) *shrug* But oh well, what can you do.  
> Here's a little backstory. Or not. Here's Asami being clumsy, for the most part. And wistful. And Korra not really paying attention to her girlfriend.  
> And there's a cookie reserved for the first person to realize what's wrong in this story. :D (I mean besides everything but ok let's ignore that)

“Ouch, fuck!” Asami hissed and stumbled to the side, nearly falling over and hitting her head against the wall. She hopped on one leg before limping her way out of the darkened room she found herself in. “Fuck, ugh…” She groaned when the morning sunrays hit her face the second she slipped out into the bright hallway through the barely open door. 

She glanced over her shoulder for a fleeting moment, eyes scrunched from the sun and brows furrowed, groaning when she remembered all the times she’d done this same thing in the past couple of months. The body still snoring silently on the bed did nothing to soften the gruesome memories. For a moment, she wondered how it all got to this.

_ Well, there was that redhead that got all of this started… Then there was the guy with the tattoos. The pierced one. The pierced chick… Oh, the blonde with the really great wine collection. Oh, oh! The painter. Fuck, that guy knew how to use his tongue… Unlike this one… Fuck, what is his name anyway? Jason? Jack? James? It has to be something with a J… Fuck... _

Asami groaned again before running her hand through her hair. Couldn’t she deal with breakups like a normal person? Didn’t getting drunk and sleeping with a random couple two weeks after the inevitable end of her four-year-long relationship solve all the grief she was supposed to have felt after Iroh left her? Apparently not. No, she had to sleep with at least a dozen other strangers. Two just wouldn’t cut it. And that’s why she found herself in another person’s apartment even a year later, sneaking out and failing at being at least classy about it. And yet, there was no sign of sorrow or even something else, something like anger or remorse. No, there was just the same old familiar feeling of emptiness in her chest and the same hole in her heart that had been stuck there for the past six years.

_ Seriously Asami. You just spent the night with another stranger whose name you can’t even remember. _ How her mind had already managed to conjure up so many words was beyond Asami’s comprehension. She continued dragging herself around the apartment, looking for anything that seemed to belong to her or looked at least vaguely familiar. _ You’re twenty eight years old and you’re sneaking out of people’s bedrooms after using them for your pleasure. And you’re sassing them. Way to go. Really. At least leave a note this time. _

She wound her way around the unfamiliar apartment until she found the rest of her clothes that seemed to have been scattered all around. When she put on both of her boots she looked around for a piece of paper, scribbled a quick ‘thanks, i had a great night ;)’ and quickly put on her jacket, ducking out of the apartment with a pulsing headache already clawing at her brain. 

As she stood in the elevator, waiting for the door to close, an old lady walked in slowly, smiling at her. Asami shifted on her feet, trying to avert her gaze, but the lady was all too insistent. 

“What a lovely jacket you have young lady,” The old lady spoke with a smile and Asami only shrugged, mouthing a silent ‘thank you’. 

_ This’ll be such a fucking long day. _ She groaned once again when she stepped out of the building and the familiar sight of the very busy streets of Republic City in the morning welcomed her. 

“What a way to be back in town after six years.” Asami mumbled to herself, grinning sheepishly at a random passerby that stared at her in confusion. “And now I’m freaking people out by talking to myself. Great. And I’m still doing it.”

_ Fuck _ .

* * *

 

Korra’s fingers clenched when she felt Opal slide her own between them. She squeezed gently and smiled when she meet bright green eyes. “So where are you taking me?” She murmured, reaching out with her free hand and tucking a stray lock of raven hair behind Opal’s ear. She tugged on her colorful scarf and adjusted it as much as she could with one hand before slipping it back in her own pocket. 

November was never particularly cold in Republic City and besides, Korra was used to the cold, but today was especially chilly, with a strange sort of breeze blowing through the city. 

Opal offered a smile matching her own. “Coffee at the Air Temple sound good?” 

“Perfect,” Korra mused. 

“I was thinking we could talk a little when we get back to yours.” Opal spoke quietly, brushing her thumb over Korra’s knuckles as she looked away.

“We can,” Korra mumbled back, glancing around. For a second she though she caught

sight of a familiar figure she hadn’t seen in years stepping out of a building across the street but then Opal tugged on her hand and Korra almost tripped over her feet. “Sorry, got a bit distracted.”

“It’s ok,” Opal grinned at her, “We’re here.” 

“After you.” Korra pulled the door open and waited until Opal stepped inside before following her in.

They scoured the place for a few moments before deciding on taking a seat at the only table next to the giant window. It overlooked the street and funnily enough, it was the same table they’d sat at on their first date two years ago. Korra took Opal’s coat and hung it on the hanger along with her own before joining her and sitting down. The waiter, a young man with black hair and striking green eyes soon approached them. 

“Hey Bo,” Opal murmured with a smile, “Look who’s back.” She waved in Korra’s direction with a grin. 

“Korra!” The man all but shouted and reached over, dragging Korra away from her seat and up into a bear hug. “I missed you!” 

“Hey!” Opal yelled from the other side. “If anyone missed her, it’s her girlfriend, aka  _ me. _ ”

“Yeah yeah, whatever, I’m her best friend, I missed her more!” The man stuck his tongue out at Opal when he put Korra down before settling his gaze on her. “Hey you. Whoa, you cut your hair.” He ran his hand through it, ruffling it lightly and smirking when Korra pouted a little. 

“Had to, it started getting in the way too much and you know I can’t stand ponytails for too long.” Korra gestured for him to pull a chair and join them at the table. “You’ve grown,” She grinned at him and pressed a finger to his cheek, “Filled up too.” 

“Are you saying I’m fat?” He frowned, his lower lip jutting out in a pout.

“Yup.” 

“Bastard.” 

“Hey, now you’ve an excuse to join me in the gym!” Korra chuckled and flashed a smile towards Opal before turning back to him again. “So how’ve you been? Any new girl I should know about?” 

“Same old, same old.” Bolin smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Still at that old one?” Korra’s voice softened and she reached out, pressing her hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah…” 

“And you still won’t tell me who she is? Bo, it’s been two years.” 

“Maybe one day Korra.” He smiled at her and stood up. “So, what can I get you two ladies? Tenzin’s out right now but I’m sure he’d love to see you Korra, so would the kids.” 

“Tea for me, you know which one I like.” Opal mumbled.

“Coffee for me,” Korra spoke and leaned back in her chair, glancing out the window, “And I’ll come by his place later today, I wanna see them too.” 

“Orange tea and one coffee, coming right up!” Bolin hurried his way back. 

“So when did you think we could ta-” Opal’s words cut off when she realized Korra wasn’t paying any attention to her at all. In fact, she was so invested in staring out the window that she actually leaned over the table on her elbows and her eyes were wide open, obviously following someone out on the street. Opal followed her gaze but frowned when she couldn’t see what or who caught Korra’s attention so firmly.

Korra on the other hand had eyes for one person, and one person only. A tall, slender yet slumped figure slowly walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the street. She could recognize her anywhere, that long, raven hair and those sleek shoulders, long legs that seemed to go on forever and that stupid scarf she specifically remembered buying some seven on eight years ago. 

_ Asami’s back in town? Since when?  _

Korra was vaguely aware of Opal trying to tell her something and staring at her, but she couldn’t pry her eyes away from the sight even if she tried. There, across the street, was the girl she hadn’t seen in a very,  _ very _ long time. The girl she last remembered with that same scarf wrapped around her soft, warm neck and tears in her eyes. The girl that still managed to, after all these years, hold a piece of her that, try as she may, Korra never managed to get back. And now that part of her was thumping in her chest, buzzing in her ears and feverishly pumping her blood, making the breath in her throat hitch. 

_ Fuck. _


	3. Trying to fit your hand inside of mine when we know it just don't belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra and Opal finally talk and Asami's got some unfinished business from six years ago.  
> \---  
> And to explain things a bit: yes, Korra and Asami know each other. No, I will not tell you how deep their relationship was, you'll have to wait :D Yes, they last saw each other six years ago. Yes, Asami's been in a four year long relationship and Korra in a two year long one, in the meantime. Yes, they're both back in RC and yes, there's gonna be drama :D Funny enough though, not as angsty drama or as sad as you might think since this fic was supposed to be a silly fluff piece.. I got a bit distracted. But anyway, here's another chapter! :D

Korra sighed as she flopped down on the couch, sighing softly and slipping out of her boots, pushing them aside. She ran her hand through her hair and took a deep breath with her eyes closed, exhaling in a long hum. Her eyes slowly opened when she felt Opal sit down next to her. 

“When are you going back?” Opal asked as soon she slouched back against the couch and her fingers moved between Korra’s. She laced them together and took Korra’s hand into her own, her thumb brushing over Korra’s knuckles slowly. 

“In a couple of months.” Korra murmured and glanced down at their joined hands, smiling at the sight. “I’m sorry.” She quickly added, looking away as she leaned back and let her head hit the comfy surface behind her. 

Opal sighed and scooted closer, trailing the fingers of her free hand over Korra’s arm. “I… It’s okay.” 

Korra frowned before taking another deep breath and shifting so she could lean forward. “No, it’s not okay Opal. It’s not okay ‘cause I’m never home and you’re always alone and all you’ve been doing is waiting. Is that what a relationship is? Two years of waiting around and wondering if I’m dead or alive? I hate this and I’m starting to doubt my decision to leave in the first place. I… I miss you.”

“Korra,” Opal started slowly in a calm voice, “You can’t be doubting yourself if you want to help people. You can’t doubt your cause or your reasons, not because of me, not because of anyone. I can wait. I’ve grown used to it. You can’t. You’re a soldier, you go around the world helping people, that’s what you do. I… I wait, for now.” Opal hesitated for a moment at that last sentence but she tried to make the words sound as convincing as possible. 

“You shouldn’t have to. Waiting isn’t what makes a relationship, and you should never settle for that.” 

Silence welcomed Korra’s words and it spoke harder than any answer Opal could have given her. She swallowed the lump in her throat and waited to see if Opal would actually say something, before she continued. “I know this is only getting harder on you. We’ve been together for two years and seen each other for what, a year when you put it all together?” 

Opal turned around to face her. “Where are you going with this?” 

“Nowhere,” Korra immediately responded. “I’m just… Just saying.” 

Opal sighed once again and moved to straddle Korra. “Hey.” 

“Hey.” Korra murmured back, smiling up at her. “I love you, y’know?” 

“Yeah…” 

“But that’s not enough.” Korra murmured as their lips met.

Opal leaned in to press her forehead to Korra’s, sliding her hands to her shoulders. “I’ve been thinking of coming with you.” 

“Don’t.” 

“Why?” 

Korra swallowed again before the words left her. “Because it’s not what you want. You’d do it for me but-”

“Isn’t that a good enough reason? The fact that I want to be able to see my girlfriend every day? The fact that I want to spend every day with the girl that I love?” 

“I…” Korra started but all words died out on her lips this time.

“How long have you known?” Opal pulled back slightly, staring into Korra’s eyes. There weren’t an traces of doubt in them, or anger. Nothing but compassion shone in those wonderful green orbs.

“Known what?” 

“That we’re just not… that this isn’t working?” 

“You first.” Korra offered with a sly grin.

“Eight months ago.” Opal sighed and leaned in, pressing a light peck to Korra’s lips before she spoke again. “You said another girl’s name in your sleep.”

“Opal-”

“No, don’t. It’s okay. You… You were having a nightmare and the words just kind of left you and I… I knew what I was getting myself into when we started dating.”

“What do you mean?” Korra’s eyes widened slightly.

“You might have been okay then but there’s always been this thing about you… This look in your eyes, like you were always kind of just a little bit sad. Like there’s something,  _ someone _ missing. It’s her, yeah? She missing.” Opal said with a sheepish smile and her hands slipped to Korra’s hair.

Korra remained silent for a couple of minutes, just staring into Opal’s eyes and trying to form some words, trying to say something,  _ anything _ to make the pain of the moment at least a little bit easier to bear. Eventually, she gave up on that and reached up, pressing her lips against Opal’s and kissing her long and deep, nibbling on her lip before pulling away. 

“You know I still love you, right?” Korra murmured in a low voice. 

“I do.” Opal smiled. “I love you too.” 

“Want to go to bed? I wanna cuddle with you a little while longer.” 

“I’d love that.” Opal smiled. 

“Also, I got you a little surprise for your birthday.” Korra grinned when Opal’s eyes sparked up with intrigue. “I’m about 140% sure you’ll love it.”  

“My birthday’s not until next week though,” Opal teased.

“I know that.” Korra grinned, “But I’ve been working on this for a while and Bo’s even helping me organize a night out and I want it to be perfect. For you.” 

“I know it will be, if you’re organizing it so thoroughly.” Opal smiled and kissed her once more.

For the next couple of minutes they shuffled around the apartment, shedding their clothes and holding each other’s hand every step of the way. Korra could feel the calm between them that had been missing for far too long and Opal knew, despite the inevitable end they were nearing, that this was the best they could be, for each other. So they slipped underneath the covers and Korra pulled her close to herself, wrapped her arms around Opal’s waist and sighed when Opal’s familiar scent filled all her senses and Opal’s warm hands fell atop of her own.

* * *

 

Asami stretched in her bed and rubbed at her eyes, trying to adjust to the morning light peeking through her windows. She sat up and looked over at the clock on her dresser, sighing at the sight. 

After an hour of showering, putting on makeup and dressing up, she was standing in front her building in a figure-hugging black skirt, her dark gray coat thrown on her shoulders and her fluffy green scarf pulled around her shoulders. The second she sat down in her car she pulled out her phone and dialed a number that rang only twice before a bright voice of a young woman picked up.

“ _ Good morning Miss Sato, what can I do for you?”  _

“Morning Yuki. Can you postpone all my meeting for this afternoon? I’ve got some business to attend to first.”

“ _ Of course Miss Sato, anything else?”  _

“That’ll be all.” Asami smiled into her phone. “Thank you.”

“ _ Goodbye Miss Sato.”  _

“Bye Yuki.” 

She set the phone back in her bag and started the car, heading out from her parking spot and sighing when she turned the radio on. The drive to where she was going wasn’t long but Asami stopped loving silence a long time ago. It only made her think of things she wanted badly to put behind her. But then she glanced to the side for a moment and from the corner of her eye she caught sight of someone she knew couldn’t be there. Someone who was part of those things she wanted to, no, needed to put behind her. 

_ No. Not today. Not now, not here. Not in Republic City, no, she can’t… _

But the moment passed all too soon and the familiar brown hair and dark skin disappeared in the mesh of people when she turned the corner. Asami took a deep breath and exhaled slowly when her destination came in sight. She blinked a couple of times and came to a stop,  parking the car right in front of it. When she stepped out, she only had one thought and one intent on her mind. 

She stepped forward before looking up at the engraving on the wall above the door.

_ Republic City Police Department. Time to finally make things right.  _


	4. What did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to give you guys some backstory but I don't think I've managed. Consider this a filler chapter :D   
> ANd no worries, Opal and Korra are through but they're both reasonable people who were friends first and thus their relationship, despite it ending, is still very strong. But they're through.

“All right miss Sato, thank you for coming over. What you’ve told us today will help us out a great deal. The men responsible will be brought to justice, along with your father.” The chief of police spoke as she opened the door for Asami to leave her office. “Officer Mako here will escort you back to your car.”

“Thank you.” Asami murmured but flinched when her eyes met the sight of the young officer. It was a striking, tall man with black hair and fiery eyes, light brown with traces of yellow in them. He was familiar. Too familiar.  _ Banging a police officer, forgetting his name then meeting him two days later at the police stations. Fucking fabulous Asami. Who else are you gonna screw?  _ She moved to pass him by but the chief’s words stopped her.

“Mako, please make sure miss Sato makes it back to her car without any problems.” 

“Of course.” He mumbled back, averting his gaze and trying to stare anywhere but at Asami. 

When the chief finally moved back into her office and closed the door, Asami started for the main entrance, hoping to pass the time in silence. Unfortunately, the young officer wouldn’t have any of it.

“Hey, um. Sorry, I didn’t know we’d be meeting like this. I mean, I’d hoped I’d get to see you again and maybe uh, maybe go for coffee with your or somethi-”

“Look, Marko, right?” Asami interrupted.

“It’s Mako actually.”

“Mako, right. I’m sorry for the way I behaved but what we had was a one night stand and I’d like to keep it that way. So let’s pretend we don’t know each other and it’s all well, okay?” 

“Yeah… Okay.” Mako mumbled, opening the door of Asami’s car for her.

“And for the record, I really did have a good time back then.” Asami smiled at him when she slipped in her car seat.

Mako smiled sheepishly at her before she closed the door and the car sped away.

When she was far away enough and the radio was back on, Asami gripped the steering wheel and grumbled to herself.

“Well, it wasn’t Jason. Or Jake. Or a J at all, apparently.” 

She groaned and all but slammed her head on the steering wheel, trying to push the thoughts away.

* * *

 

Korra stared at herself in the mirror, desperately trying to fix her hair. The damned thing just wouldn’t stand the way she wanted it to and after trying for twenty minutes, Korra decided she looked sharp enough even without the hairdo she wanted. When she left the bathroom, her breath caught in her throat when her eyes fell on Opal.

“Oh. Wow.” She only managed to mumble as Opal approached her.

“How wordy.” Opal chuckled and reached out to adjust Korra’s tie. “Looking sharp Korra.”

“Th-thanks Ope. You’re… Wow. Just… You’re beautiful.” Korra’s dazed stare remained and she let her hands rest on Opal’s hips as she trailed her fingers down the silken fabric of her dress. “It’s so… You. Light and… Just wonderful.”

“You don’t have to sugarcoat things Korra.” Opal mumbled as she turned to move away but Korra’s strong arms held her in place. 

“I’m not.” Korra took a deep breath and slipped her hands up to cup Opal’s face, bringing them closer to each other. “You’re gorgeous, Opal. In and out.” She couldn’t help but smirk when Opal’s cheeks turned a gentle crimson colour. “I love you, babe.” 

“Babe?” Opal snorted at the word.

“Nah?” Korra grinned.

“Nah.” Opal smiled and leaned in, pressing their lips together. “So, dinner then a night out, yeah?” 

“Yup.”

“And what’s this surprise you were talking abou-”

Opal didn’t manage to finish her question. The doorbell of Korra’s apartment interrupted both her words and their time together. 

“Right on time.” Korra grinned and moved away, heading for the door.

“Korra?” Opal questioned, shifting in her spot and staring at her in confusion.

“Ready for your surprise?” Korra’s grin grew wider, if it were actually possible, when her hand rested on the door knob.

“I… guess?” 

Korra knew she’d done the right thing when Opal’s gasp filled the room.

“Kuvira?” Opal mumbled in disbelief.

“Hey sis.” Came a voice from a grinning figure standing in front of the door.


	5. But we didn't get tonight, we don't get tomorrow so don't ruin now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There we go, another chapter is out. Asami and Korra finally see each other again and things happen. Of course they do, lol, what'd you expect.

“I can’t believe you actually got Kuvira to come over,” Opal murmured in Korra’s embrace. She tightened her hold before pulling back and placing a light peck on Korra’s cheek. “Thank you, so much.” 

Korra smiled back at her, “I knew you miss her and it’s been a while since you two have seen each other.” 

“Thank you Korra, really.” Opal mumbled before lacing their fingers together and walking out of the apartment. She tugged at Korra’s hand slightly when she noticed Kuvira was waiting in front of her car, “Did you tell her about… us? About this not working out?” 

“I figured you didn’t want me to, but we can tell her now if you want to.” Korra sighed.

“No, it’s… It’s okay. I’ll tell her tomorrow at lunch or something. I don’t want her whining and preaching how we should have done this and that differently.” Opal grumbled as they started moving towards the car again. 

“You sure? I mean, we haven’t exactly talked much about it ourselves either…” 

“We both know that we can’t keep doing this to ourselves Korra.”

“Yeah. You’re right. But for tonight, you’re still my girl. Even if I do only get to hold your hand.” Korra grinned. 

“Yeah…” Opal sighed and looked up to meet Kuvira’s nervous glare.

“Come on you two, what’s taking so long? The club’s gonna be closed by the time you two drag your asses there.” Kuvira grumbled when all three of them climbed inside. She sat at the driver’s seat and glanced behind at them in the rearview mirror. “No funny business back there. I can see and hear everything.”

“Kuv, seriously.” Opal glared at her.

Korra just shrugged with a grin.

“So we need to pick up whom?”

“Bo and his brother.” Korra leaned back in her seat.

“Okay just tell me when to turn and such.”

“Aaight.” Both girls in the back mumbled. 

“What’s the club called anyway?” Kuvira glanced back over her shoulder.

“White Lotus,” Korra said with a grin, “Brand new, super popular.” 

“There better be some good alcohol if I’m gonna have to put up with your two and your mushy displays of affection.” Kuvira waved a finger over her shoulder, trying to point at the two of them.

“I promise to behave,” Korra said and gave a lazy salute before leaning back in her seat once again and glancing out the window. The night seemed peaceful enough but her heart wasn’t at ease. She felt too restrained by the whole situation they found themselves in.But they’d talk it all out tomorrow. Tonight, they’d dance.

* * *

 

_ I can’t believe I actually let them drag me out. And my god, Zhu Li I can handle but Varrick? Really? Really Asami? After all the parties, all the crap you’ve been through, you go out with Varrick of all people? How the hell am I gonna survive the night with him… _

“And so you see, you have to combine the two, science can’t go a long way without a little faith.” Varrick concluded. “You just have to have faith in your own genius.” He grinned at her before turning to Zhu Li. “Zhu Li, give me your hand.”

Asami glanced over her shoulder as they walked to the club they were supposed to be spending the night in. Varrick apparently had VIP seats reserved for them and there’d be a couple more business partners joining them.  _ You can’t drink yourself into a stupor this time, Asami. _

The sight of Varrick and Zhu Li holding hands was a comical as everything the two of them do. Asami thought they looked like two robots but funnily enough, they fit together really well. Though she figured, it was a really,  _ really _ weird relationship. 

“So what’s this club we’re going to?” Asami asked and brought her coat closer together, buttoning it slowly as they continued walking.

“White Lotus,” Zhu Li quickly said, “It’s supposed to be the hottest place in the city.”

“Well maybe they should turn down the heating.” Varrick remarked.

_ God, this’ll be a long night…  _

“That’s a figure of speech, Varrick.” Zhu Li retorted. 

“I knew that.” 

“How much longer do we have to walk?” Asami asked as she finished buttoning her coat. “It’s really cold.” 

“Maybe we should have taken the car…” Varrick started.

“You specifically said we’d walk.” Zhu Li mumbled.

“What a bright idea…” Asami added.

“Ten more minutes.” Varrick quickly said.

* * *

 

“Well it sure is hot here, you got that right..” Kuvira grumbled half heartedly, trying to talk to Korra, cramped next to Opal who was desperately trying to explain something to Bolin. The fact they were both fairly drunk really didn’t help.

“Oh come on, live a little!” Korra shouted across the table with a goofy grin and leaned over to swat at Mako’s arm before whispering to him in half-slurred words. “Come on, ask her to dance with you, she’s gonna get drunk and then we’ll all have to deal with her hangover tomorrow.”

“Ask Kuvira to dance with me? Are you insane?” Mako was trying his best to remain the only sober one but after an hour spent in the obnoxiously loud club, even he had to have a couple of drinks just to be able to deal with the crowd. 

“Come oooooooon Mako, don’t make me beat you up.” Korra looked at him, trying to feign puppy eyes, “Pleeeeease? She’s a really great dancer, you know?” 

“Ugh, must I?” 

“Mako.” 

He groaned before turning to his brother. “Move Bo, Kuvira and I are going dancing.” He extended his hand towards her and she reached out, taking it, albeit reluctantly. 

Bolin stared at them in confusion as they walked away before he turned to Korra. “How’d you make this happen?” 

“I begged.” 

“Figures,” Bolin chuckled.

“I’m gonna go get us some more drinks, you two want the same?” Korra smiled at Bolin and Opal while she stood up. They both nodded and Korra hurried towards the bar, trying to find their way around other patrons of the place. She squirmed in between a couple of people and leaned against the bar, trying to get the bartender’s attention. 

She finally managed to get her order five minutes later but when she moved to take it back to their table, she didn’t get very far. In fact, she didn’t get anywhere at all. The drinks went spilling right back over the bar when a tall figure bumped into her side, causing her to lose her balance. She’d just barely opened her mouth to sputter a curse when a voice she’d recognize anywhere broke through all the defenses she’d ever put around her heart.

_ Asami. _

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, this idiot behind me shoved me, fuck, jeez, I’ll get those for you.” Her words were a little slurred and Korra figured she was just as drunk as Korra was.

“It’s okay.” Korra half-whispered, more to herself than anyone else. The shock and the disbelief were too much. Couple with a lot of alcohol, this whole moment was too much. But then Asami shifted beside Korra, her hand fell down on Korra’s arm and a familiar scent rummaged its way to Korra’s senses, making her feel lightheaded. 

“Sorry what did you sa-” Asami’s voice disappeared with the last word. Her breath hitched in her throat and the hand she’d placed on Korra’s arm gripped hard, pressing into Korra’s skin.

“Asami.” Korra mumbled, staring up into those green eyes she knew so well. They were a little glazed right now, unusually sparkly even, but Korra figured it was the alcohol she could see in them. “H-hey.” 

Asami opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Eventually, she leg go of Korra’s arm and raised her hand, brushing her fingers lightly through loose strands of Korra’s hair and resting them on Korra’s cheek when she finally did speak. “You cut your hair…” 

“Yeah…” Korra started, “A couple of months ag-” 

Asami’s thumb pressed lightly over Korra’s lower lip and the shivers it sent through her were something she hadn’t felt in years. Korra could feel her heart thumping in her chest and try as she may, she couldn’t shake off the warmth she felt in her chest. When Asami leaned in closer, Korra took in a sharp breath. 

“I miss you,” She heard Asami mumble all too close and a moment later, Asami’s lips were on her own. 

It was a sloppy kiss, filled with need that spanned over years and feelings left unresolved from too long ago. But it was all too much and over way too soon. 

The last thing Korra remembered seeing before blackness overtook her mind, was a very angry Kuvira shoving Asami away and her fist blazing towards Korra. When it connected, it sent her flying over, sent her mind into a numbed out, empty blackness and all that was left was the taste of Asami’s lips on her own and Kuvira’s words echoing in her head.

_ “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that escalated quickly. And you might think this was impulsive and sudden and too soon but, the thing is, there's a really long history behind them (that will be explained in the next chapter) and there was alcohol involved tonight, and inner most desires got out of control. Anyway, next chapter we flash back 6/7 years to find out what exactly happened between the two of them.


	6. Before you go turn around, let me hold you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone wanted backstory? Here's the crucial parts. The rest is not really all that important.

**SIX AND A HALF YEARS AGO**

 

_ Korra yawned before blinking her eyes open. She smiled contently, reveling in the darkness of the room and the lack of disturbing sunlight that usually always had her frowning from the second she opened her eyes. Pleasant warmth of Asami’s body pressed closer into her side and she felt a hand lay resting on her abdomen. She sighed, slipped an arm around Asami slender waist, just underneath her sleeping t-shirt, and pulled the covers over them with her free hand. She smiled when Asami’s lips descended on her collarbone.  _

_ “Mmm,” Korra hummed in appreciation, ghosting her own lips over Asami’s forehead. “Morning.” She murmured with a smile and her own lips still pressed to Asami’s skin.  _

_ Asami only tightened her grip in response and cuddled closer.  _

_ “Hey, Sami.” Korra continued to murmur. “Hey.”  _

_ After a minute or so Asami finally relented and looked up. “Hmm?”  _

_ “Happy two and a half years.” Korra grinned her goofy, lopsided grin. _

_ Asami returned with a dreamy smile. “I love you.” She leaned up and pressed her lips to Korra’s for a long, lingering kiss. When she pulled up, they were both wearing matching smiles. _

_ “I love you too.” Korra smiled into another kiss before Asami slipped out of her reach and further under the covers.  Minutes later Korra was a whimpering mess and after a couple of her increasingly loud moans and ecstatic screams, Asami emerged from out of the covers with a smug smile on her glistening lips.   _

 

* * *

 

 

**SIX YEARS AGO**

 

_ “Korra!” Asami pleaded, holding onto Korra’s wrist with a tight grip, trying but failing to stop the tears streaming down her face. “You can’t do this! Please don’t do this to us!”  _

_ “I can’t. I just. I can’t be here Asami. I can’t be with you now. Not now and not… I … I just can’t. This is too much for me.” Korra spoke through her own tears, looking away from Asami and occasionally tugging and trying to lose Asami’s grip on her hand.  _

_ “Please, Korra, let me explain!”  _

_ “You’ve explained enough. You’ve told me everything I need to know. And I… Sadly, I understand. But I can’t deal with that, I can’t live with that right now. I’m… I… I can’t live and know this side of you. I just can’t…”  _

_ “You promised you’d always be here for m-” _

_ “I did. I am breaking that promise now Asami. The second you sided with your father and his horrible ways was the moment I knew I’d break that promise. I’m sorry, I know you have a heart better than this but… I can’t stick around to see you realize that.” Korra tugged her hand away from Asami’s grip and turned around one last time to look at her. “Your father sells weapons on the black market, Asami! For god’s sake! I’ve heard him! And you know I’d never lie to you! I’ve seen the people he deals with, I’m sorry you can’t understand that but I… I can’t. I’m sorry. I need to go before I start doubting myself...” _

_ Asami brought her hands up, trying to cup her cheeks but Korra pulled away. “Korra… How do you expect me throw away everything I know about my family? About my own father? Korra, he’s all I have left! And you… I have you.” A pained sob escaped Asami’s throat when the last words left her mouth. “I thought I have you.”  _

_ “Don’t… Don’t do this, please. I can’t. This is tearing me apart. So fucking much, Asami.” _

_ “Don’t you think this is tearing me apart as well? It is! Goddamn it Korra, it is! You… You were supposed to understand me! How can you even blame me for something I don’t know anything about? Do you think I’d support him if things were so?!”  _

_ “You sided with him!”  _

_ “Because you accused him of something and that was it! You didn’t even talk to me beforehand. You just marched into his office because you overheard something that you can’t even say was what he was talking about!” Asami now started yelling through her sobs, trying to keep Korra from leaving with any means she could. If it meant yelling some sense into her, then she’d yell.  _

_ “I know what I heard!” Korra spat back, “And you don’t trust me. Not even a little bit.”  _

_ “How can you even think something like that?” Asami’s knees nearly gave up. Her whole body was shaking with the strength of her sobs. “What do you expect me to do? Turn on my own father? On the only thing I have left? Do you want me to lose the only family I’ve had for sixteen years?”  _

_ “No, I-” _

_ “Because you’re doing just that, Korra. And I can’t. I need to be sure, I can’t just-” _

_ “So you’ll just sit back and let him do it? You’ll watch him be responsible for the deaths of god knows how many people?”  _

_ “Korra-” _

_ “I’m sorry, Asami, but I’ve made up my mind. I can’t do this. I love you more than I’ve loved anything in my life. And yeah, we’re young but… I always kind of figured you and I’d have a future together, you know? So don’t. Just, let me leave, please. You’ll never hear from me again, and I’ll be gone. I won’t have to break any more promises and you won’t have to cry over me again. I’m sorry.” _

_ “Korra…” _

_ “I’m sorry.”  _

_ Before Asami could do anything, Korra was out the door and gone.  _


	7. Babe, there's something tragic about you, something so magic about you, don't you agree?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eheh. What can I say, it was a dreary Saturday.

“Korra!” 

The loud, urgent sound woke Korra up from the blankness and darkness of her mind. She tried to sit up but the immediate headache that attacked her when she blinked her eyes open, made her rethink that decision. She scrunched her nose but then a surge of pain struck through her whole being at that and made her wince and yelp in pain. “Ow, fuck!” Her hand immediately flew to her nose and she gasped when she felt something slick just above her lip. “What the…”

“Korra.” 

She finally recognized the voice calling her name and turned to meet her best friend’s face. The only thing she figured before meeting his face was that they were at his apartment. “Bo, what the fuck happ-”

“You’re an idiot. My best friend, a goddamn idiot.”

Korra was sure she’d never heard Bolin say something bad about anyone, let alone herself. She thought he couldn’t possibly, but the words that had just come out of his mouth struck her more than she thought possible. “Bo...?” 

“You’re my best friend, Korra. I love you so much. But this time, you fucked up so much. So freakin’ much. And for what? For what?” Bolin spoke hurriedly, the volume of his voice increasing with each word, “She was crying Korra, crying because of you, because you’re a stupid turd that just has to cheat on the most wonderful girl in the world!” 

“What?!” Korra half shouted at him, still trying to sit up. It wasn’t until she was halfway sitting that noticed the gentle hand at the small of her back and the one on her arm, helping her sit up. It sure as hell wasn’t Bolin, and the fragrance wafting through her nose wasn’t Opal’s either. Korra chanced a glance to the side and darkness began to swivel through her mind again. “A-As-A…”

“Hey, uh, relax, okay? Just don’t move for a bit and try to relax, okay?” Asami spoke quietly, unlike Bolin. “Can you not yell? It wasn’t Korra’s fault, it was mine and I’ll take full responsibility. I’ll go and apologize to her girlfriend ok?” 

“You think an apology will cut it?” Bolin’s gaze fixed on Asami and Korra tried to follow it but every time she’d turn her head, her vision started blurring. “Kuvira could have killed both of you. You’re lucky I stopped her before she turned to you, otherwise you’d be dead meat. Opal’s her sister and Opal’s… She’s… Damn it.” Bolin cursed and turned to face away from them. “Why did you do it?” He grumbled, more to himself, because neither Korra nor Asami looked like they’d heard him.

While he was trying to compose himself, Korra was regaining her senses. As soon as she back to her old self, she became aware of just how close Asami actually was and how her heart jumped at that realization. And her hands were still on her and they were gentle and protective, but beyond everything, it was surreal. 

“What are you doing here?” Korra finally managed to ask when her eyes met Asami’.

“I… I’m moving back here.” Asami spoke quietly, trying to look everywhere but at Korra. 

“You’re wh-”

Their conversation seemed to have gotten Bolin’s attention because he turned around in an instant. “You two know each other?” He glanced back and forth between them in confusion.

“We…” Asami started but her words were interrupted when Korra spoke.

“We used to.” She finished and turned away. “I need to go fix this mess and apologize to Opal. Despite everything, this is not how things were supposed to be…” 

“Despite what?” Bolin approached her with a quizzical stare. “Why are you so calm about this? You should be with her, or running to her, apologizing and whatnot. Why do you look like you’d rather be here than with your own girlfriend?” 

His words hit was too close to home. Korra winced at them, and in a second, her eyes were welling up with tears. 

“Because we’re done. Opal and I. We’re over, Bo. We have been for a while and there’s nothing to fight for. Nothing I can say to make it better.” Korra all but growled at him.

Bolin stood there for a couple of moments, staring back at her in confusion. “What do you mean, over?” 

“We’re breaking up.” Korra murmured.

“You’re… You’re breaking up with Opal?” 

“No. I mean, it’s mutual. We… It’s not working, okay?” 

Asami tried not to think about Korra’s words, she desperately clutched to what Korra had told her all those years ago, but now this… This stupid little freckle of hope appeared and her heart was beginning to swell with anticipation.

“But you… You two-”

“Opal and I are over Bo. She deserves better and I can’t give it to her.” Korra sighed and slumped in her chair, rubbing her temples. “Can you give us a couple of minutes, please?” 

Bolin stared at her for a moment before taking a couple of steps back. “Y- Yeah… Okay. But Korra, you ne-”

“I know, Bo. I’ll go. As soon as I can.”

“Korra…” He started but one fairly intimidating glare from Korra made his words stop in his throat. He walked out of the room and the door closed behind him.

Everything around Korra felt fuzzy. Warm and cold at the same time. Blurry and all too clear. She took a couple of long, deep breaths and let the fresh air course through her before she pushed herself up and walked over to a window. Her gaze was fixed on the numerous skyscrapers of Republic City, but from the corner of her eye, she could tell that Asami had reluctantly stepped closer to her, yet again.

“Why did you do it?” Korra asked without turning around.

“Korra, I didn’t-”

“Why did you come back? Why back here? Why kiss me?” The words flew out of Korra’s mouth before she could actually stop them. She needed answers.

“I have things to do in Republic City.” Asami said in a voice barely above a whisper. She didn’t dare come any closer and her arms were crossed at her chest protectively, as if she was trying to shield herself from whatever Korra decided to do.

“Are you enjoying this?” Korra whispered this time and reached up, pushing her hair out of the way and desperately trying to contain her feelings. “Do you want me to break apart yet again? Wasn’t once enough? Do you enjoy watching me walk away in tears?” Korra’s voice had become louder with each question she asked. She was breathing heavily, fighting with the need to cry and the will to suppress every and all feelings she still felt for the girl next to her. Even after six bloody years, Asami held such power over her heart, she was still the one Korra’s mind would run to in every spare moment. She could still make her feel the happiest and the saddest just by being there. 

For a moment, Asami considered fighting back. She wanted to yell and shout and scream at Korra, she needed her to know that no matter what Korra thought, it was never her intention to hurt her. Not then, not now. 

She wanted to tell her how she hates loving her so much that even after six years,  _ six years of crying over her _ , Asami still couldn’t blame her for the way her heart had been messed up. Broken, miserable, empty. But she couldn’t. 

This time, Asami didn’t really have it in her to fight anymore. Even though Korra’s words hurt more than anything in her life had, she sighed and moved over to stand beside Korra, leaning against the wall on the other side of the window. 

“No Korra.” She said softly and waved her hand when Korra tried to say something back. “I didn’t come here to hurt you. I’m not back because I want to break your heart. Or my own heart.” Asami’s voice was shaky and her hands trembled, but she pressed on. “In fact, I didn’t even expect to see you here. I figured you’d have moved away,  _ moved on _ , I hoped you had because the thought of seeing you again… It still hurts. Even after six years, just thinking about you hurts. So much, Korra.”

“Then… Why are you back?” Korra asked a little hesitantly, still looking away from Asami.

“Because I needed to set things right. Now I have the power to do the right thing, and I’m doing it.” 

“What do you mean?” Korra finally glanced in Asami’s direction.

“I’m back because my father is everything you once told me about him.” Asami took a deep breath and met Korra’s gaze. “I came to send him where he deserves to be. In jail, for the rest of his life, for destroying countless lives. I can make a difference now, and I’m trying to. This,” She waved to the space between them, “Was not part of my plan.” 

All Korra could manage was a barely audible, “Oh.”

Asami couldn’t help it. A chuckle escaped her. “Oh? Seriously? After all this time, that’s all you have to say?” 

Korra ran her hand through her hair and moved away from the window, heading for the door with a hurried step. “No. I have a million other things to tell you. But don’t you think our time’s already passed?” She stopped right before reaching the door, and turned around to meet Asami’s gaze once again. “I need to go clean up this mess. I… I’ll... “ 

All Korra really wanted to say was ‘I’ll see you around’. She craved to say those words, the were pulsing through her veins, thundering in her mind. She needed to say them. But, she didn’t. Instead, she sighed and turned away from Asami. Once again.

“Take care Asami.” Korra murmured before disappearing out the door.

“Yeah…” Asami whispered to herself and turned to stare out the window, finally letting her own tears fall freely. 

There were so many things she wasn’t sure about, at this very moment. Should she have run after her? Should she have told her how she feels? Would it change anything? Did she fuck it all up again? So many questions swirled through Asami’s mind but in a sea of insecurities and doubt, Asami found one certainty she would always hold on to. 

Whatever the time, Korra would always be the only person that could fill the void in her heart. 

 


	8. But I want it, it's a crime that she's not around most of the time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to put an end to certain things, yeah?

The second Korra stumbled out of Bolin’s apartment, she was dialing Opal’s number. She didn’t really expect her to answer, but she had to try. Nothing that happened the night before was supposed to happen and not even in her wildest dreams did Korra expect their last night out as something resembling a couple to end up the way it did. 

To her utmost surprise, Opal picked up.

“ _ Hey.”  _ Her voice was low and kind of gruff. Korra feared the worst.

“Hey,” She mumbled, “Can I come over?” 

“ _ It’s your place too Korra, why would you need to ask for my permission?”  _ Opal bit back, only to mumble right after, “ _ Sorry. Yeah, of course. When?”  _

“I’ll be there in five.” Korra said as she hurried along familiar streets. Luckily, their shared apartment was close by and five minutes didn’t seem impossible, especially not with weekend traffic. 

“ _ Okay. Kuvira’s gone out a couple of minutes ago, we should… we’ll have some time to talk alone.”  _

“I’m on my way.” 

Korra’s words were met with silence and soon after, Opal hung up. Five minutes later, Korra was unlocking the door of their apartment and as she stepped inside, once again silence greeted her. 

“Opal?” She called from the doorway, slipping out of her jacket.

“In here,” Came Opal’s voice sounding even stranger now that she could actually hear it. It didn’t sound all that different, only a little more raspier than usual. Korra thought she had been crying. 

When Korra rushed in the living room, she knew why Opal’s voice sounded the way it did. Her eyes confirmed Korra’s doubts. 

“Opal, I...“ Korra mumbled and made to walk over but stopped herself mid step. She wasn’t sure if Opal even wanted her near, let alone touching her. “I don’t… I’m sorry. I didn’t… Last night…” 

Word after word, Korra realized she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to explain to Opal that none of what happened last night was her intention. That the way things turned out was something she’d never thought would happen. But she fumbled with words. Despite knowing that it wasn’t exactly her fault, Korra felt guilty. Guilty for even going there last night, guilty for getting mildly drunk, for kissing Asami back - because she did, of course she did, she always would - and for not rushing after her, even though she wasn’t really in the best shape. But before she could sputter more nonsense, Opal stopped her with a wave of her hand.

“Don’t. I know you didn’t plan it to happen, but it happened and there’s nothing you can do to change it now. We…” Opal took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, but Korra could see the way her hands were shaking. “We might not have broken up officially, but there hasn’t been anything between us in months and we both know it.” 

“Opal, that’s not-”

“You know it’s true Korra. And we were going to tell everyone anyway. This just… It will speed things up.” Opal sighed and moved to sit down on the couch.

Korra hesitated for a few moments before she joined her on the couch, sitting down on the far end. “I’m regretting even going to that stupid place.”

“Are you sure?” Opal glanced at her and it was only then that Korra could see just how sad her eyes looked.

“What do you mean?” 

“Did you… Do you know the woman that kissed you?” Opal leaned back against the couch, staring right at her.

“I… Yeah. I know her.” 

“She’s Asami, right?” Opal mumbled with a sigh.

Once again, Korra hesitated. She wasn’t sure how much would be too much say because Opal looked sad enough as it was, she didn’t have to make it worse. But lying would help either. 

“She is.” Korra lowered her head and leaned on her elbows. 

“Did you know she’d be there last night?” Opal arched an eyebrow slightly as she inhaled.

“God no! No, Opal, I had no idea she’d be there… Hell, I had no idea she was back in Republic City, I haven’t seen her in six years, I… I had no idea.” 

“She just… appeared out of nowhere? And kissed you? Just like that?” Opal held her gaze on Korra, never once wavering on glancing away.

“You know I’d never do anything like that and she… It just happened. One second she was this random chick standing next to me at the bar, the next someone pushed her, she tripped, kicked me and I spilled my drink and that… that’s what happened.” 

“And she kissed you.”

“She kissed me.”

For the first time in a couple of minutes, Opal glanced back. “Did you… did you kiss her back?” 

Korra knew that question would come up eventually, but no matter how many times it crossed her mind and she tried to prepare herself, it was still hard to answer, even though the answer itself was simple. She could lie to herself as much as she wanted, but lying to Opal was out of the question. 

“I did.” She mumbled with her head hung low.

“I see.” Opal murmured. “I don’t… I won’t blame you for anything.” She finally spoke after a brief pause. “I don’t want us parting ways with anything but friendship between us and if I got looking for faults and wrongs and whatnot, it… it won’t make me, or you, feel better.” Opal spoke quietly as she stood up from the couch and moved to walk towards the window with her back turned to Korra.

“This is not a goodbye,” Korra started, “Not from me to you. Not to us.” Korra moved up from the couch and towards Opal.

“It’s not. But it is an end.” Opal finished for her but her breath hitched in her throat when she felt Korra’s arms settle on her waist. She could have pulled away but didn’t. She still needed it. Needed Korra to be close, at least for the last couple of minutes they’d share as something more than friends. 

“I still love you, you know that right?” Korra murmured as she rested her head on Opal’s shoulder. 

“Yeah… I love you too Korra.” Opal half-whispered as she turned around in Korra’s arms and cupped her cheeks before meeting her eyes. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?” 

“To you? Never.” Korra whispered as a sole tear slipped down her cheek. 

Opal brushed it away with her thumb and leaned up to press a light, lingering kiss to Korra’s lips before whispering in them. “Be happy for me, okay?” 

Korra tilted her head to the side a bit before a hushed sob escaped her. Opal pulled her close and wrapped her arms around Korra’s shoulders, burying her head in the crook of Korra’s neck. “Promise me you’ll be happy.”

“I- I promise.” Korra mumbled when more tears fell down her cheeks and her arms tightened around Opal’s waist before she felt her pulling away. She hurried to run the sleeves of her shirt over her damn cheeks and put on a sheepish smile when Opal offered on as well. “I’ll work on it, I promise.” 

“I mean it.” Opal booped her nose with a finger and moved away. “I’ll be going now.” 

“No, no, Opal, I’ll leave. I’ll sleep at Bo’s and you can have the flat.” 

“No,” Opal’s tone harshened for a moment, “I’ll go sleep at my brothers’ place for a couple of days and we’ll talk about the flat later, okay?” 

“Sure?” Korra stared at her, still wiping away the tears that seemed to be falling endlessly.

“I’m sure.” Opal smiled once again, this time genuinely. “I’ll catch you later, Korra.” She murmured and turned away from her, disappearing out the door in a few hurried steps. 

“Yeah…” Korra murmured and sighed heavily when she heard the door come to a close. She let the tears fall freely now, not bothering to soak them up. 

Even if was the right thing to do, it still hurt. 

Of course it hurt.

* * *

 

When Asami finally awoke, it was to a thundering inside her head and a desert in her mouth.  _ Fuck.  _ She cursed internally and groaned as she threw the covers off herself and slid one leg off the bed, reluctantly scooting closer to the edge of the bed.

After that whole disaster with Korra a week ago, Asami was still trying to drown her problems in alcohol. Which was, oh the irony, the cause of everything in the first place. 

She tried to muster the courage to reach out and get a hold of Korra so she could at least apologize properly for what she’d done but instead, she ended up spending every night since then in any bar she could find open. Days were easy to live through - meetings would keep her occupied and she wouldn’t have to think of her mistakes, but nights… Nights had her up all the time and alcohol proved to be the only thing that helped. 

It was their breakup all over again.

Only this time, Asami had no idea where to go from there. 

At least six years ago she moved away with her father and everything she’d done wrong by then, including everything that happened with Korra, could just stay behind. But now she was actually back in Republic City and she couldn’t just up and leave again. At least not that easily. Deep down in her soul though, Asami didn’t really want to leave. Not when that stupid faint little freckle of hope still remained... 

A couple minutes passed while Asami contemplated her bad decisions, both the old and the recent ones, but eventually she managed to drag herself out of bed and towards her bathroom. A hot shower was the first thing on her to-do list, and a giant mug of steaming hot coffee followed. It wasn’t until a couple hours later that she found herself ready to actually eat something. Hangovers never went good with food. The rest of the day would have to be spent in bed, resting and dozing off whenever possible.

By the time Asami finally started feeling like a human being, the sun had already set. When she glanced at the clock on her nightstand, she groaned, realizing she’d slept through the whole damned day.  _ Way to spend the first free weekend you’ve had in years…  _

But the night was still young, it was only seven in the evening and with her headache and nausea gone, she could treat herself to dinner and maybe a movie. Alcohol was not part of her itinerary for this night. 

She got out of bed and grabbed her old sweater that matched her favourite pair of ripped jeans perfectly, slipped into her clothes and her boots, draped a scarf around her neck and headed outside when she found her bag which, funnily enough, was complete intact from the night before. She found a cozy little restaurant, had some pasta for dinner and about two hours later found herself wandering the old familiar streets of Republic City. 

The movie theater she really wanted to go to was an old one but after asking around she managed to confirm the old thing was still standing and showing movies. And not just any kind of movies. Oldies, black and white romance dramas that always made her… and Korra smile whenever they went to see one. 

Asami tried to push the memory away but smiled at it nonetheless when the old building finally came into view. There were no rows of people but there was a line for the movie that got her attention, so she waited until she could get her ticket, her popcorn and Coke and headed inside. Surprisingly, there weren’t as many seats free but she managed to find two free ones a little further away from the screen. By the time the movie finally started, the whole theater was full and her seat turned out to be one of a few still left free. 

Ten minutes into the movie, someone plopped down on it with a loud huff and a grumbling noise but a voice Asami would understand anywhere in the world. “Fucking tall idiot, had to sit down in front of me…”

Asami barely managed to hold the giant box of popcorn steady in her hands when her head whipped to the side and her eyes widened when she realized her ears had not tricked her. “K-Korra?” 

“What?!” Korra’s angry voice startled her for a moment but then Korra’s gasped and her voice broke off in her throat, replaced by something that sounded more like a whimper. “A-Asami?” 

_ Of all the people, it had to be her,  _ Asami thought to herself.

_ It just had to be her, didn’t it?  _ Korra almost laughed when the realization hit her.

Maybe there wouldn’t be any alcohol tonight, but judging by the way both of their hearts started beating erratically and their hands shook moments later, one would think alcohol is not the only thing you can get drunk on.


	9. Lonely water, won't you let us wander, let us hold each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heh.

“I- I’m gonna go, uh, I’ll find somewhere else to sit,” Korra mumbled in a hushed voice, half-crouching so she wouldn’t disturb everyone else watching the movie. 

“You don’t have to,” Asami mumbled and patted the seat, “Besides, I think the place is full and the movie’s already started. Come on,” She flashed Korra a sheepish smile, “You’ll miss the movie.”

Korra cast one more hopeful glance around the place but the lights were already dimmed and it seemed like all the chairs had already been taken. “Well what the hell…” She mumbled and plopped down, slipping her jacket off herself. She didn’t dare look at Asami again, seeing as her heart was already beating much faster than she’d like it to, so Korra kept her gaze on the movie screen, as hard as it may have been.

Five minutes into the movie, Asami nudged her shoulder.

“Want some popcorn, Shortie?” The last word rolled down her lips slowly and the smirk behind it could be felt even in her voice.

Korra whipped her head in Asami’s direction. “You too?” She all but growled, her brows furrowed in annoyance. “That’s it, I’m leaving.” She grumbled and stood up, only to have Asami yank her back down by her arm. 

“Oh come on, you had to assume I’d say it sooner or later I mean you changed seats ‘cause some giant sat in front of you and you’re still kinda short, I mean c’mon, isn’t that just adorable?” Asami grinned at her but her grin was quickly replaced with a wide smile.  _ Still the cutest pout in the universe _ , Asami thought to herself when Korra’s lover lip jutted out in protest. She decided ignoring the fluttering of her heart was the best thing she could possibly do in this situation because Korra might have stayed, but that was only for now. 

“You didn’t have to be so mean,” Korra continued with her grumbling and leaned back in her chair, stuffing one hand in Asami’s bag of popcorn and snatching it with the other. “This is mine now.” Korra glanced at Asami from the side of her eye and for that split second, she thought her heart might just melt right then and there. The smile on Asami’s face was way too dangerous for her bruised and battered heart. She quickly looked back at the movie screen, deciding to focus solely on the movie and giving as little attention to Asami as possible. 

“Fine, I apologize, now can I have some of  _ my _ popcorn please?” Asami pleaded but Korra refused to look at her. She only handed her the bag back and kept her gaze straight on the screen. She knew, if she looked back and her gaze settled on the forest residing in Asami’s eyes, she’d miss at least half of the movie, if not all of it. It was bad enough the image of that very forest seemed to be etched in her mind ever since she’d first seen them.

Asami took the hint and figured it was the best thing to do as well. Korra’s presence might be distracting, but that didn’t mean her whole world needed to seize function just because Korra was there. Even if everything suddenly was kind of pinkish and red, and she could swear little hearts were flying around her head, Asami knew this was as much as it could go. Her heart kept hammering in her chest but that was all she’d get. A few glances and a couple of words. 

Somewhere around half of the movie, they were both laughing. It was a silly love scene, too cliche not to laugh at and by the time Korra was out of breath, Asami was already shoving her cup of juice in her way, still laughing at the scene. Korra took it, but the second their fingers brushed, they looked at each other and the jolt both of them felt was too intense to ignore. 

“Sorry,” Korra murmured and quickly turned back, staring straight at the screen.

Asami’s apology was too quiet to be heard but her lips still curled in a smile when Korra took the cup nonetheless.

After another hour, the credits started rolling in and people were already heading out. Korra scrambled to her feet and stretched, making Asami blush and turn her head away. Her t-shirt had ridden up and Asami couldn’t help but notice just how toned Korra’s abdomen had gotten. Sure, she was always well built and she loved going to the gym, but since last they’d seen each other, Korra got ripped. 

“I should head home, I’ll see you around?” Korra mumbled, slipping her jacket on.

“Yeah, sure.” Asami mumbled hesitantly and followed Korra outside. 

“Is your car somewhere close by? I can walk you to it.” Korra offered, trying to look anywhere but at her.

“Actually I’m on foot,” Asami murmured with a smile.

“Oh? That’s new.” Korra met her eyes, “Is it far from here?” She asked and shoved her hands in her pockets, but not before quickly adding, “‘Cause it’s getting late and you shouldn’t walk around alone.”

“It’s a couple of blocks away.” Asami answered, “I can manage. I’m a big girl.” 

“Nonetheless. You never know what kind of idiot you might run into. I can walk you home.” 

“That’s okay Korra, you don’t have to. I can walk home alone.” 

“I insist.” Korra stared at her, startled by her own words.  _ What are you doing?  _ “For your safety.” 

“Korra…” Asami started again but Korra hand on her wrist stopped her.

“C’mon.” 

For a couple of seconds, Asami let her lead. Then she chuckled, and Korra finally turned around, still holding on to her wrist. “You’re going the wrong way.” Asami grinned at her.

“Oh. Uh. Right, I didn’t ask.” Korra offered a sheepish smile and used her free hand to rub the back of her neck. “Why don’t you lead the way and I’ll stick around.”

“Sure.” Asami murmured back and started walking in the other direction. Her heart threatened to burst in her chest because Korra kept walking next to her and despite the fact that she’d let go of Asami’s hand, she was still right there, so close and it was borderline painful to have her so close and yet… still so far.

Their pace was comfortably even, not too slow and yet, not too fast. After some time spent in silence, Asami was the first one to break it while she kept her gaze facing forward.

“I’ve been meaning to get a hold of you and say sorry. Both to you and your girlfriend.” She figured it was the safest word to use. Even though Korra said they’d broken up even before what happened a week ago, they might have not. Or they might have gotten back together. Asami had no way of knowing so she decided to play it safe.

“We’re not together anymore.” Korra only murmured, clenching her hands into fists inside her pockets.

Asami’s eyes lit up at those words, but she felt guilt settle inside her heart faster than ever before. “I’m sorry. Both for the breakup and for fucking things up for the two of you. I… I wanna apologize to her.” 

“It wasn’t your fault.” Korra continued in her hushed voice, staring straight ahead.

“I shouldn’t have done what I did. I had no right, tipsy or not. I should have apologized already and I haven’t. I’m sorry Korra, I’m so sorry.”

“Asami, it wasn’t your fault.” Korra stopped in her tracks, staring at the pavement. “If there’s anyone to blame… it’s me. It’s all my fault.”

Asami remained silent, not wanting to intrude on Korra’s thoughts. She knew it wasn’t her place to say whether or not it was Korra’s fault, and it sure as hell wasn’t the time for her to try and rid herself of her own guilt. But the silence between them didn’t last long.

“After all those years I still couldn’t do it. I couldn’t commit to her. To anyone. I couldn’t… I can’t…” Korra’s voice broke and Asami barely stopped herself from pulling her in a tight hug.

“Korra, you don’t have to be with anyone, if you don’t want to.” Asami spoke quietly, aware of how crushing her own words sounded to her. “If you don’t want a relationship, don’t want to commit… That’s fine. Whatever reason you might have, it’s ok-”

“Even if that reason is you?” Korra kept her gaze on the pavement but one of her hands slipped out of her pocket and she brushed it through her hair.

“I- Wh- What do you mean?” Asami can barely form her own thoughts, let alone anything more coherent when it comes to words.

Korra took a deep, long breath before finally lifting her head and meeting Asami’s gaze. “It’s always been you.” She murmured and swallowed, keeping her gaze steady and her eyes set on Asami’s. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, her body feels a thousand degrees warmer than it should be, but she’s kept it all in for six years and now the words just really wanted out and if not now, then when? She couldn’t have stopped them even if she tried and after all this time, all she ever really wanted was just that. To say how she really feels. 

“M-Me?” Asami stuttered after a moment of complete silence, feeling her heart beating rapidly and a certain sort of familiar pain emanating somewhere deep within her ribcage. 

Asami was stunned, unable to form words, to think. The only thing in her head were Korra’s words, echoing over and over again, and the thundering of her own heart. When Korra cleared her throat and glanced away, Asami finally managed to regain her senses. “Do you… Does that mean you still…” She hesitated, for another moment, and Korra stepped away. “Korra, don’t.” 

“No, I, I shouldn’t have said anything. Me and my big mouth, same old right?” Korra offered a sheepish grin and moved to turn away, “I, I think I’m gonna go, you said you can walk home by yoursel-”

“I still care.” Asami finally spoke up, breaking through Korra’s monologue. “I still care about you. No. Fuck that. I still love you. I’m still in love with you Korra.” Asami stepped closer and reached for Korra’s hand, grasping it in her own. “Please,” She started, not really sure what she was asking for, “Don’t go. C- Come with me. Please.” 

Korra braved a look over her shoulder and for the first time in a while, she was taken aback by the sheer power of emotions in Asami’s eyes. 

“I… I should go home.” She stuttered through the words.

“Please.” Asami asked once more, squeezing Korra’s hand gently. “We need to talk. For a while. A long while. Can we? Can you do that for me?” 

Korra took another long breath and sighed shortly after before turning around to fully face Asami. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go.” 

If there was ever anything worth saying ‘yes’ for, it was this moment. The spark in Asami’s eyes, the gentle curve of her lips, the way her hair flowed in the light breeze… For that, it was worth saying yes, no matter how hard the weight on Korra’s heart felt. 


	10. Let your lungs push slow up against my skin, let it all feel just right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They really need to talk.

Korra kept her head low as they walked inside Asami’s building and headed for the elevator. They were both quiet and nothing but silence filled the space between them. But Korra’s mind was so loud, almost too loud for her. One thought kept swirling through it.

_ What are you doing here?  _

She’d never wanted anything so much in her life as she wanted an answer to that question. But no matter how much she tried thinking about it, she couldn’t. Not right now, not when Asami was within arm’s reach, when she could smell her perfume and hear her shallow breathing, not when they were minutes away from the curse or blessing that was Asami’s apartment. 

“We’re here,” Asami mumbled quietly when they reached the door at the end of the long hall. 

Korra hadn’t even noticed they got out of the elevator, but her brain seemed to unconsciously follow Asami wherever she decided to go, and so did Korra’s feet. She nearly bumped into her from behind but managed to stop herself at the last second, huffing a reply.

“Mhm.”

Asami unlocked it quickly, albeit clumsily, and slung her coat over a hanger the second she stepped in. Korra walked in after her and just stood there when Asami closed the door. She could feel the warmth of the place and the need to take off her own jacket took over so she quickly shrugged out of it and slung it over the same hanger. Asami had already walked beside her and disappeared somewhere, but not before stepping out of her boots and pushing them aside and against the wall. It wasn’t until then that Korra finally took in the look of Asami’s apartment. 

She took in the wide, open space, the high ceiling and the large windows on the far end of the room but her brows furrowed in confusion. There was almost no furniture, except for two smaller chairs set in front of a TV set and two more bar stools set in front of a kitchen island. 

“Didn’t you say you were staying in Republic City?” Korra asked aloud, hoping Asami could hear wherever she’d gone to.

“I am.” Just at that moment, Asami stepped back into the large room through the door on the other side, “Why?” 

“You’ve no furniture.” 

“Oh. Yeah.” Asami shrugged. “I live alone. You’re the first person over. I don’t intend on bringing anyone else here and this is enough for me.” She shrugged once again and moved to the kitchen space. “Do you want anything to drink? Tea? Coffee?” 

“I won’t be staying long.” Korra brushed her off but the second she did, she felt horrible. “I could go for coffee though.” She sputtered quickly and moved to stand next to the window, gazing outside. “Nice view.” 

“Thanks. Coffee will be done in a few. You can, um, sit down anywhere you want.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Korra mumbled and kept her spot beside the window. She stood tall but her hands slipped inside her jeans’ pockets and she kept shifting on her feet until she felt a tap on her shoulder a few minutes later.

“Here,” Asami murmured, handing her a cup. “Three sugars, bit of milk?” 

Korra’s eyes widened for a moment but she managed to simply nod in appreciation. “Yeah.” 

Asami stepped beside her, holding her own cup in both her hands, and looked out the window, frowning slightly. “It’s gonna rain.” 

“Yeah.” Korra mumbled, not looking up.

“Might even snow.” 

“Who knows.” 

“We need to talk.” 

“Yeah.” Korra continued in the same monotone voice until her own words hit her. “Uh. Yeah. I guess.”

“You guess?” Asami glanced at her. “It’s not a guess Korra. We… There’s so much we haven’t told each other… You…” 

“I know.” Korra murmured once more before taking a slow sip. She set the cup on the window sill and turned to face Asami. “I know, okay?” 

Asami set her own cup down and faced her, wringing her hands together behind her back. “How do we do this then?” 

“I… I don’t know.” Korra mumbled, keeping her gaze set on Asami’. “We’ve both said things, a lot of them, and it’s just… It’s so complicated. Such a fucking mess…” 

Asami hesitated for the briefest of moments but then her feelings pushed her fears away and she reached out and took Korra’s hand into her own, brushing her thumb gently over her knuckles. 

“Now.” She spoke slowly, “Now it’s a mess but… But what if we try to clean it up? What if we work with it and make it all better?”

Korra’s heart throbbed at the familiarity of Asami’s touch. She desperately wanted to pull her in close and keep her there for hours, but now was not the time. That time got left behind some time, long ago.

“I don’t know…” She mumbled again, genuinely not sure what to say. 

Yes, of course she wanted to do something, anything, to make things better between the two of them. But suddenly every little things from six years ago felt so close, as if everything was suddenly coming back with the intent of making her stumble through a forest of emotions. She still had feelings for Asami, she never really stopped loving her but - not even a month ago her life was something else, she had a different special someone in her life. Someone who didn’t break her heart. Someone she could trust. But she let her go. Because of… Of the woman standing in front of her, the one who broke her heart. The woman now holding her hand, asking for… for her love.

Life sure had a funny way of saying ‘fuck you and your feelings Korra’.

She felt Asami’s other hand join the one she already held her with.

“I know I hurt you. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t felt horrible about that.” Asami’s voice was silent but her grip around Korra’s hand tightened. “Back then I couldn’t… I… I wish saying I was too young could justify the way I behaved, but it doesn’t. I just wish you’d understand how afraid I was back then. How hard everything was to process. How distant you felt, how terrifying every little bit of information was.” She lowered her head and looked away, but kept holding Korra’s hand. 

“I understood, later. I do understand. We were different people back then and I could have,  _ should have _ handled things differently. I… I never should have gone away. I left you, all alone, and for the longest time, I blamed you for everything, Asami. For what happened to us, for my own sadness, for every stupid little thing.” Korra sighed and brought her free hand to their joined ones and entwined their fingers. “I wish I’d stayed with you.” 

Asami looked up, hopefully, with tears brimming in her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I have been sorry for six years.” A single tear slid down her cheek but she let it, not daring to take her hand away from Korra’s warm, soothing touch. “I wish we weren’t put in such a situation. Things should have never gone that way. We weren’t… I…”

Korra stared at her for a moment, as the pain in her chest grew stronger. The single tear sliding down Asami’s cheek hurt more than any words ever could and before she knew it, she was leaning in, cupping Asami’s face and stepping closer, with nothing but one thought in her head.

_ I know what I’m doing.  _

Asami gasped into the kiss when Korra brought their lips together but the shock lasted for mere seconds. Soon, the overwhelming familiarity took over and she melted into it, letting her own hands clutch at Korra’s shoulder before sliding her arms around them. 

Korra wished she was braver. She wished she could have the kiss last forever, or at least until she was short of breath. She’d go on with it, if she was a little braver. But the force of feelings that rushed through her when their lips met, made her slow down and savour the warmth of Asami pressed close to her more than she ever had. It made her mind spiral into a thousand different thoughts and her heart raced at them. At all the possibilities. All her wishes from so long ago. All that kissing Asami meant. She pulled away when her lungs began to burn and her own tears threatened to spill over.

“Asami…” She murmured, lips still pressed close to Asami’s. “We… S-Slow down... I…”

A chuckle welcomed her words and she pulled away slightly, looking into Asami’s eyes. The warmth residing in them threatened to turn her into a puddle right there and there.

“I’m sorry I just… I spent six years wishing, dreaming I could kiss you again. Like this.” She glanced away for a moment before turning to meet Korra’s eyes again. “I got caught up, I guess.” Another chuckle escaped her but she tightened her grip around Korra’s shoulders. 

Korra joined her with a huff and a curl of her lips into a smirk. “Yeah…” Her hands slipped down to Asami’s waist and she slid the all the way around, lacing her fingers at the small of Asami’s back. “Can we just… Let’s just stay like this, for a while.” 

Asami leaned into her embrace and laid her head on Korra’s shoulder, brushing the tip of her nose against Korra’s neck and inhaling the familiar scent. “Yeah… Let’s.” She took a long whiff before exhaling slowly. “We can talk a little later?” 

Korra took a deep breath and murmured silently, her heart finally feeling at peace and her mind void of any other thought. “We can.” 


	11. Rare is this love, keep it covered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There you go. Mild angst, here and there, between the lines, mostly just fluff.

It wasn’t until the early morning hours that Korra’s tight embrace loosened a little. 

At some point they moved to Asami’s bedroom and laid there, wrapped in each other’s arms and the silence that enveloped them, taking in one another’s warmth and letting the fires that had lit up in their hearts burn brighter and stronger with each passing moment. 

Asami stirred the second she felt Korra’s hands fall away from her waist and the warmth of Korra’s body disappeared from beside her. “Korra?” She murmured sleepily but her mind already began forming thoughts she’d feared all this time.

“I’m just going to the bathroom,” Korra replied, already making her way to the door. “I’ll be right back.” 

Asami could see her now, as she squinted through the darkness. Korra’s figure was as clear as day, even in the dim lights from the hallway peeking through. “Promise?” Her voice wavered a little but she spoke anyway.

Korra turned around mid step, “I promise.” 

Her own voice was a little rough but her words were comforting and warm, just enough to soothe Asami’s worried mind until she returned back to bed. 

Sleeping in Korra’s arms felt like coming back home after being away for a long time. It was different now, of course, a little awkward at first and tense. But after a while, they both melted in each other’s arms. It was a perfect fit, and deep down, they both knew it. Neither knew the exact moment they fell asleep but it was too natural and too comforting to fuss over. Talking could wait a little longer, but the need for each other’s closeness had to be sated.

Korra returned a couple of minutes later and slipped right back into bed, sliding an arm around Asami’s form and pulling her closer. She leaned in to press a kiss to Asami’s forehead but hesitated for a moment when she caught herself in the action. After contemplating for a few excruciating seconds, she pushed the thoughts away and leaned in fully, savoring the moment. Asami’s arms immediately found their way around her waist and she snuggled in closer, tucking her nose in the crook of Korra’s warm neck. 

“What time is it?” She murmured against Korra’s skin.

“I’ve no idea.” Korra mumbled back, already feeling sleep creeping up at the edges of her mind. “I haven’t checked.” 

“Hmm..” Asami simply hummed, “Good.” 

Korra let out a soft chuckle and settled in closer, pulling the covers over them. “Good night.” She added before she closed her eyes and darkness washed over her. But this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable, it wasn’t full of anxiety and doubts, old fears and even older regrets. This time darkness felt comforting and familiar, like a missing piece of a puzzle that she found years after she’d already finished putting it together.

“Mmmnight.” Asami barely managed to whisper the word before her own dreams took over. And for the first time in years, she wasn’t afraid of falling asleep.

* * *

 

Asami woke up as the first sunbeams began seeping into the room through the thick curtains draped across the windows. She stirred, pushing her arms up to stretch, but the soft exhale close to her ear and the warm body pressed next to hers, reminded her that she wasn’t alone in bed. The thought made her smile. She pried her eyes open and looked up, only to be met with the clearest color blue she’d ever seen. 

“Morning.” She murmured with a smile still tugging at her lips. If sleeping next to Korra was bliss, Asami had no word to describe what waking up in her arms felt like. 

The corners of Korra’s eyes lifted to match her lips and she hummed a ‘morning’ back at her, sleepily blinking and settling cosier into the covers while both of her arms tightened around Asami’s waist. 

“Coffee?” Asami asked, tugging at the hem of Korra’s shirt.

“Nah, too early.” Korra finally managed to form a couple of words, swiftly adding, “Sundays are for sleeping in.” 

“I remember.” Asami spoke back with a grin and shifted to her side, leaning on her elbow and hovering close to Korra’s face. “But it’s…” She glanced over Korra’s shoulder at the clock on the nightstand, “Already eleven.” 

“Mmm, fine.” Korra hummed, prying her eyes fully open and staring into Asami’s own. “You better have some good coffee.” 

“Only the best.” Asami grinned when Korra finally shifted and began sliding off the bed. She followed, sighing when she reached the kitchen as Korra wandered into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She came out ten minutes later, looking a little less bleary but still with awful bed hair and all Asami could really do was laugh. Korra shunned her into the bathroom with a few faked growls and an adorable pout and when she came out, coffee was already waiting for her on the kitchen island, with Korra sitting on one of the stools and checking her phone. There was still a smile on her face when she looked up to meet Asami’s gaze, but her brows were furrowed in a way Asami remembered meant that Korra was either nervous or troubled.

“What’s up?” Asami asked as she sat down across from Korra and cradled her own mug in her hands.

“Opal’s coming by later today to pick up some of her stuff.” Korra murmured without hesitation.

Even though the thought of Korra’s ex made Asami’s heart clench, it still beat a little faster at the fact that Korra felt good enough to tell her without any restraint. 

“Oh. Do you have to go?” 

“I have a couple more hours.” Korra’s genuine smile returned as she put the phone away and took her own mug in her hands. 

“Do you want to talk about… This?” Asami gestured to the space between them shily.

“Yeah, we should.” 

Asami cleared her throat before speaking again, this time trying her best not to look into Korra’s eyes. There was always something that could easily make her lose her focus and she really needed all her strength and concentration not to let her fear eat up all the words she’d been meaning to say. 

“So.” She started, fingers drumming over the rim of the mug. “We still have feelings for one another. I mean it’s obvious, we still l-li-” She wanted so hard to say like, but the word just wouldn’t do their feelings justice, “There’s still something deeper there, right? It’s not just my imagination?” She looked up, finally brave enough to meet Korra’s gaze.

“It’s not. I still have feelings for you, dumbass. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m still an idiot for you.” Korra mumbled a little roughly but reached out when Asami pouted. “Sorry. I just… Of course there’s something between us, Asami. I care for you, I have for as long as I remember knowing you. And these past six years so much has happened, so much has changed but… There’s always been this one constant in my life.”

“These feelings.” Asami finished for her and Korra only nodded.

“I just don’t know where to go from here. I mean, I do but, you know, it’s not so easy to just go back to being with you. I don’t want that. You’ve changed, I’m a different person. We’re not the same people we were six years ago and I want to get to know you, everything that’s become different about you, before we fall into this… Whatever it is that we’ve been in for the past six years.” Korra sighed softly and took a sip of her coffee, frowning a little at the taste.

“Are you sure you want anything? Because you don’t sound so sure and Korra I… I don’t want a one-time thing. I don’t want something to keep my mind occupied and someone to keep my bed warm. I want something… Something lasting. Certain.” Asami took a deep breath before the last words left her mouth. “I want it with you.” 

Korra frowned at first, but her frown quickly eased into a smile when she heard the last of Asami’s miniature speech. She let go of her mug, reached out and grasped for Asami’s hand, lacing their fingers. “Asami, I’m not saying I don’t want anything. On the contrary. I want everything. All you can give me and all I have to give you, but I want us to take things slow. I want to get to know you again, I want to make you crazy about me once more, I want to be the first and last thing on your mind, and I want you to always be on my mind. Or, you know, half of the time ‘cause the other half is reserved for delicious food and Naga.” 

Asami snorted at her words, squeezing Korra’s fingers between her own. “Bested by food. Really Korra.” 

Korra only grinned at her but continued talking. “I just ended something a week ago and it meant alot to me. Out of respect for my feelings for Opal and what we shared and because I care so much about  _ you _ , I won’t rush into something. I want us to just talk for a while. Text each other, call, send each other stupid little voicemails, photos, whatever. I want to take you out on dates and you better take me to a movie or two. I wanna hang out. But I want it slower. Paced. We have time, Asami. All the time in the world.” 

Asami let her thumb brush over Korra’s knuckles gently. “You’re right. We should take things slow. There is no rush.”

“I want us. This.” Korra reached out with her other hand.

Asami took it, happily entwining their fingers and reveling in the warmth and the buzz of Korra’s touch, murmuring more to herself than to Korra.

“Us.” 


	12. And we'll be slow, honey lovers 'til the clocks go forward again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I said going slow, no rushing this time you eager dorks :P

“Hey,” Korra mumbled when she opened the door to her apartment and Opal smiled at her faintly. “Come on in.” She stepped aside and Opal walked past her with a quiet ‘thanks’ thrown in there somewhere. 

It was the second time Opal had come over to pick some stuff up in the past month and it still felt more awkward than ever. But at least this time she had a smile on her face and the bags under her eyes were all gone. If Korra looked hard enough, she could almost see that same old spark starting to reappear in her eyes. 

“How are you?” Opal called out from their old bedroom, rummaging through a closet. 

Korra hurried to walk over to the room so they wouldn’t have to shout. She leaned against the door frame and barely managed to suppress a chuckle when she noticed Opal had almost walked into the closet, even though it wasn’t a walk-in one. 

“I’m doing good.” Korra said with a smile. 

“That’s good, I’m glad.” Opal glanced at her and offered a smile of her own before returning to the closet. “How are you passing the time?” 

“Oh, you know. Doing this and that.” 

“This and that?” Opal spared her another glance, raising an eyebrow this time.

Korra held her gaze as she spoke again. “I’ve started seeing Asami.” The second the words left her mouth, she felt a little of the weight on her chest lift up. It wasn’t as if she needed to tell Opal that, nearly a month and a half had passed since their break up - though that wasn’t really all that much time - but she wanted to let her know. She wanted to be completely honest. 

“Oh?” Opal stopped whatever she was doing and turned around, holding the closet door with one hand. “That’s… good.” She finished as if she didn’t really know what else to say, but her eyes remained fixed on Korra’s.

“Yeah.” Korra mumbled. “I bumped into her one day and we talked, for hours. And then we talked some more and yeah. But we’ve decided we’re not going to jump into anything and frankly, I’m not ready yet.” Korra looked away, rubbing the back of her neck. “But yeah. Asami and I.” 

“I need to tell you something Korra.” Opal started, hesitantly. “Bolin came to see me a couple of weeks ago.

“Yeah? What’s he up to? We haven’t talked since… our breakup.” Korra sighed, remembering the way she and Bolin had parted ways last time they saw each other. She still hadn’t found the courage to call him and apologize. 

“He… He wanted to see me.” 

“Oh? How come?” 

“He wanted to talk about… us.” Opal’s voice wavered for a moment and Korra’s eyes focused on hers.

“About us? Why?” 

“No, I mean… About his feelings towards me.” 

“About his feelings towa-” Korra’s breath caught in her throat. “His what?” 

“Feelings for me.” Opal spoke again and took a few steps towards Korra. “He… I didn’t know, not until he told me a couple of weeks ago. I never noticed I guess?” 

“Oh wow…” Korra mumbled, staring down at the floor. “No wonder he said all those things to me… Oh my god I’m such a fucking idiot…” Korra slapped a hand over her forehead, groaning. “He’s in love with you, isn’t he?” 

“I… Yes.” 

“And I was in a relationship with you for so long without noticing it. I’m the most horrible friend ever. Fucking shit.” 

“No, Korra, you’re not. He just… He said he did everything he could not to let it show and trust me, I would have noticed. I read people well. But it never even occurred to me.” 

Korra met her eyes again. “Are you…” 

“I agreed to meet him for coffee some time soon. But not too soon.” Opal said with a smile smile. “He said he wanted me to know but that he doesn’t want to rush anything.” 

“Yeah, sounds like Bo.” Korra smirked, running a hand through her hair. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m happy for you. Both of you. Whatever happens.” 

Opal smiled at her and moved back to the closet, peeking her head back inside. “Okay I really need to get this stupid stuff because I’ve got to get to work in a couple of hours.” 

“Need help?” 

“Nah, I’ve got it.” Opal mumbled as she pulled out a box from the closet. 

Korra simply smiled at her and leaned back against the door frame.

Hours later when Opal was long gone, she found herself sitting on the couch, contemplating what Opal had told her. It made sense, it all did. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she dragged it out, smiling widely when she read the caller id and picked up the call. “Hey.”

* * *

 

Asami stood leaning against the kitchen island, browsing through her phone when the bell to her apartment rang. She grinned before pushing herself away from it and heading towards the door. She swung it open with a shy smile and her breath hitched in her throat at the sigh.

In front of her was a giant bouquet of various kinds of flowers, so large that it covered half of the other person’s figure. But then it moved a little to the side and Korra’s grinning face stood facing her. 

“Hey.” Korra mumbled through a chuckle. “Can I come in?” 

“Of course,” Asami said and stepped aside, taking the bouquet in her own hands and admiring all the different colours, “But uhm, what is this for?” 

“Oh, these, well,” Korra shrugged a little and glanced away, but Asami still managed to catch the faint blush on her cheeks, “There’s this lil’ flower place near my apartment, it’s really cute and the old lady that owns it is really nice and, well, long story short, she knew the right things to say, I guess?” Korra turned around with a grin and Asami gestured towards the kitchen so she headed that way.

Asami stared at her in confusion, walking behind Korra but passing her by when Korra sat down on one of the tall chairs. “What do you mean she knew the right things to say?” Asami reached in one of the cabinets, grabbing the only vase she had in the flat, making a mental note to buy at least one more. She arranged the flowers in the vase and placed it on one of the kitchen counters, still smiling at the beauty of it. 

Korra was glancing away still, but she spoke nonetheless. “She was out when I was passing by and told me I should buy flowers for whoever made me smile so brightly.” 

Asami’s heart thrummed in her chest at the words and she moved around the kitchen, circling the counters and standing beside Korra. She waited till Korra decided to turn around and fully face her, before cupping her face gently and leaning in to place a short but warm, longing kiss to her lips. “Thank you Korra.” The way Korra’s lips quivered a little and she lingered in the kiss longer than Asami had expected her to, made Asami’s heart jump a little.

“You’re welcome.” Korra murmured into her lips right before Asami moved to pull away. But she didn’t get far because unnoticingly, Korra’s arm had slithered their way to her waist and Korra held her firmly in place, before she pulled Asami in a warm embrace and rested her head against Asami’s shoulder. “So, dinner and a movie?” Korra murmured into Asami’s shirt, inhaling the familiar scent hidden underneath the fabric.

“Yes please.” Asami mirrored her murmur and her arms wrapped around Korra’s shoulders as she buried her face in Korra’s soft hair and took a deep, long breath. 


	13. Hold back the river, so I can stop for a minute and see where you hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A calm before the storm.

If there was one thing Asami Sato knew how to do perfectly, and it was waiting. People always told her patience was her greatest virtue and she clung to it for dear life whenever something in her life took longer than expected.

She didn’t really expect things with Korra to advance too fast - they’d agreed on taking them slow anyway and she was happy to just have her around, occasionally, and be able to talk to her every day. The mere fact that Korra was no longer someone she’d lost, the one that got away, meant more than Asami would ever actually admit. But her patience, her biggest virtue, was growing thinner, rapidly.

Two months of seeing each other once a week soon turned into four and Asami often found herself wondering if Korra was just stalling for time and thinking up a way to finally end things, once and for all. But then those grim thoughts scampered away when she told herself that ‘ _ no, korra.. korra feels the same way’.  _ And it would always end there. Asami would never, could never doubt Korra’s feelings and she refused to let her own insecurities ruin something she thought she’d never get back. Korra wasn’t around that much because of the military at the time and they talked more than usual, even if they didn’t get to see each other. It made things a little easier, at least.

But then four months turned into six and the little of patience she had left had become a thin line filled with doubt and fear and a need for reassurances that didn’t come.

Oftentimes Asami found herself sitting in her office, staring at the same piece of paper for hours, wondering what she should do, how she should try harder, better, to make things work this time, until her secretary would knock on her door to remind her that it’s already time to go home and she’d occasionally throw in a quick ‘whatever is bothering you, give it time’ and Asami tried, she really did. But time was slipping through Asami’s fingers and the more she thought about it, the more obvious it became - Korra was slipping through them too. 

So Asami did what she knew best - besides waiting - she curled in on herself and let the mists of her thoughts envelop her. It was a dark place, her mind, but she knew it all too well and in all uncertainty around her, it was her only constant. Only thing that was certain in a sea of anxiety and doubt that seemed to change from good to horrible to worse with each passing day. Korra hadn’t called in a little over three days and her texts were really short, barely containing two words and Asami feared that this time, Korra would not come back. 

Why did she even think she could be happy?

* * *

 

For Korra, time was never something she cared much about. It came and went with its natural course and Korra usually complied. 

She woke up when she was ordered to, she did things when she had to and she always had time. For herself, for others, for things she loved - for people she wanted in her life. But now she was finding time to be a nuisance. 

She’d managed to put enough distance between herself and Asami, at least until her mind was sorted and her heart knew how it would like to proceed further. The decision was made long ago, all those years in past, but it was still hard to deal with it. The mere thought made her heart clench in her chest. 

She glanced at her phone once more and sighed. 

Last text Asami sent her was the previous night and try as she may, Korra couldn’t shake the feeling that her own silence managed to have Asami do the same - go silent and push her away, just as Korra had done it to Asami. She worried, for a moment, how stupid her decision was, but then she remembered everything she was leaving behind, all those sad, painful moments and what waited for her on the horizon and truthfully, she needed this time alone. She needed the silence and the solace of her own thoughts, and she needed to push everyone away and be by herself because it was the right thing to do.

Korra sighed when she checked her phone one last time and rolled over in her bed, pulling the pillow over her head and groaning. 

Nobody ever told her life would be this fucking hard.

* * *

 

Complete and utter silence. Nothing but emptiness, around and inside her. 

Asami shifted in her bed until the covers slipped off it and she felt the fabric slide off her skin. She needed to move, needed to get out of the bed, she needed to leave her room at least once in twentyfour hours. 

Korra had gone completely silent and Asami had no more strength to wonder why.

She tried asking, once, twice, three times but Korra always dodged her question with something, anything, and in the end, Asami gave up wondering. She knew there’d be a talk of sorts, they’d sit down again and she’d cry and scream and shout, she’d sob and shake but it probably - she still hoped a little - wouldn’t be enough. Despite their best efforts, it just didn’t feel right. 

Did it? 


	14. I'm halfway gone, sleepless, I'm battle-worn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so mean. Heh. Wait till you see the next chapter.

_ “You’re still my friend first, Korra.”  _

_ “I know.”  _

_ “Don’t… Don’t hesitate. Stop doubting yourself. Even if it’s not okay right now, it will be at some point, okay?”  _

_ “Yeah…”  _

_ “Are you going to do something about it?”  _

_ “Something I should have done a while ago.”  _

_ “Good. Take care Korra.”  _

Opal’s words echoed in Korra’s ears even as she trudged her way through Republic City streets hours later. They had a long, deep conversation hours ago and for the first time in months, it felt good to be around her. It took them two hours to get things out in the open, to talk about this and that, to remember their time together and finally, after two hours, Korra was laughing, warmly and honestly laughing. And it felt so good. 

Korra needed someone to talk to, someone who knew her better than anyone else, better even, than her best friend. She knew Bolin was still a little angry with her, even with so much time gone, but despite the fact that she’d apologized to him a couple of times and they were back to being the way they were before everything, Korra knew that he would still not understand her the way Opal would. She did love her for a long time, afterall. 

The time they spent together was nice and it flew by pretty fast. They talked like old friend who hadn’t seen each other in years and more than anything, it was good to know that someone would always be there to turn to. Only when Korra turned around one last time on the doorstep did she notice the glimmer of tears in Opal’s beautiful, green eyes. For a moment she contemplated going back and at least hugging her but she’d finally put everything behind and even if she did that, it would help her with her own problems. Opal had let her go, just as she’d done the same, and now it was time to let go of a few other things. She was running again, but not from things. She was running towards something, someone. 

By the time Korra realized where her feet had taken her, it was already well into the evening. She glanced at her phone and sighed at the sight on the display. Almost midnight. 

She knew the streets of Republic City well, she’d spent the majority of her life there and, even in the darkness of the foggy night, she still found her way to Asami’s apartment with ease. She hurried to press a finger on the doorbell, in hopes Asami would let her in the building, but luckily, some guy was just walking out and let her in without a question.

She tapped her foot on the floor of the elevator on the ride up, nervously biting her bottom lip. 

She had things to say, feelings to get out in the open, worries to share and doubts to cast away. And things... to end.

* * *

 

Asami groaned out loudly when she heard a knock on her door. Did her stupid neighbor forget his keys again and now he wants to use her phone? Or is her barely audible TV too loud for the lady across the hall again? 

It was way too late for either of those and Asami was beyond angry - at herself, at Korra, at the world and everything else in existence.

The past couple of days she found herself moping around the apartment, wondering what the hell was going on and why she allowed herself to feel this miserable again. It took her years to get over one breakup with Korra and Asami wasn’t certain she could take another. Getting over her would last at least twice as much and Asami knew the pain would be to much to bare. She dragged herself off the couch with her blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and slowly walked over to the door, opening it with one hand and rubbing her sleepy eyes with the other. 

When those same eyes laid on blue ones she loved so much, she rubbed them again, this time in mild shock..

“Korra?” Asami mumbled with confusion seeping through her voice, “What are you doing here?” 

“Hey.” Korra murmured in a low, gravelly voice. “I… Sorry I didn’t call, I just- I wanted to see you.” Asami opened her mouth to say something but Korra cut her off. “I wanna talk to you.” 

Asami took a short breath but remained in her position, contemplating for a moment her own thoughts. More than anything, she wanted to step aside and let Korra in, possibly wrap her in a hug and never again let her go. She wanted to tell her how miserable she’d been feeling, how sad, angry and lonely these past couple of months have been and how much she actually needs her. But those thoughts didn’t make it past the surface. Asami had given her all already and this time, she decided she would be the one to put some distance between them, even if it was just her threshold that kept them apart.

“Korra, it’s almost midnight.” Asami sighed, glancing away from Korra, “ _ Now _ you want to talk? After months of practically nothing but silence you show up, at midnight, and you want to talk?” She looked back, meeting Korra’s eyes once more. The sorrow she noticed in them made her heart clench, but Asami was determined to get her point across.

“I…” Korra started but not words came out. She stared, with her shoulder rising slowly with each breath she took, and her eyes remained locked on Asami’s. After a minute of silence, she finally found her voice. “I’m sorry.” She simply said, glancing down at her feet.

“Sorry?” Asami mimicked her words, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. “Korra, it’s late. And I’m… Frankly, I’m too tired. Of everything.” She sighed, reaching out to take hold of the door. “I’m tired of waiting. Of questioning. Tired of doubting myself and not knowing. I’m tired, Korra. So tired.” She started moving the door slowly, feeling the sting of tears in her eyes. “I can’t do this right now.” 

Korra reached out, placing a hand on the door and stepping closer. Asami’s hand stilled and she glanced over at Korra. 

“I need… Please.” Korra murmured softly, staring deeply into Asami’s eyes. 

If Asami loved her any less, she would have said no. If she had any more strength, she would have slammed the door shut and curled up in her bed, crying herself to sleep. If she had just a freckle more of doubt in herself, she would have started crying then and there. 

But one look into Korra’s eyes, and all she had was warmth. 

Warmth in her heart, no matter how pained it was right now. Warmth in her chest. Warm, fuzzy thoughts in her head and a pleasant, welcome warmth in her stomach. Nothing but warmth in her whole being. So she stepped aside and pushed the door all the way open, sighing when Korra stepped inside. 

She’d listen to her, no matter how much the words would hurt, but at least she’d get to feel all that warmth one last time.


	15. You don't understand, you should never know how easy you are to need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was mean again. So here's some angst. Also, there's an explanation of all this somewhere in there. It got a little deep. But you know, I can only be so mean..

The second Korra was in Asami’s apartment, she began pacing back and forth in the living room. Her thoughts were all jumbled, but she needed to get them out, to get everything off her chest. Otherwise, Korra though, her bones might break under the pressure when her heart decides to burst. 

Asami wringed the blanket still draped around her shoulders tighter in her fingers and sat down on the couch. Initially she thought she’d start talking, that words would come out on their own but seeing Korra so nervous made the edges of her mind turn darker and all her thoughts melted into one -  _ I don’t want this to have an end. _

Still, she couldn’t voice it. 

The silence between them stretched on until Korra finally cleared her throat and words left her lips. 

“I wasn’t planning for this to happen. Any of this. I never planned for it to be this way. I… I had other intentions, other plans. Different ones, dreams and hopes of how things were supposed to go. I thought up of places I planned to run to and hide and not ever have to face my fears again.” Korra stopped to take a breath and Asami was sure she caught a glimpse of tears just begging to fall down her cheeks. 

“Fears?” Asami murmured before Korra could speak again. “Places to run and hide? What are you talking about?” 

Korra sighed before speaking. “I was going to go away.” Asami’s sudden gasp drew her attention from her own hands that were wringed together, but only for a moment. She looked away, opening her mouth to speak again. “I hadn’t made exact plans but… But I would have gone away, a couple of months ago. I don’t know where, or when exactly, but I was not supposed to be here.” 

“Would you have told anyone?” Asami questioned as she moved to stand up, letting the blanket fall down on the couch. Korra had already walked away but Asami followed and reached out, fingers grasping at Korra’s chin to turn her head around. “Korra?” 

“Maybe? I… I don’t know.” Korra turned around to face her fully. 

“Not even Opal?” Asami pulled her hand back and let her hands fall down awkwardly, unsure where to place them.

“I’m not sure.” Korra mumbled. “I was so ready to go, Asami. So ready to run away.  _ Again. _ God… I just wanted out. Out of my head, out of the dark, the hurt… Because nothing seemed to want to leave me, so I figured, you know, I’d leave it all instead.” 

Asami looked to the side, afraid to pry but she needed to know. “Is it the things you’ve seen?” 

Korra only nodded her head and her shoulders slumped. “It’s not your fault Opal and I broke up. We weren’t doing so good anyway and I can safely say it’s my fault, really. I was so consumed by myself, so much in my own head that the little time I spent with her, I’d spend worrying, fearing… Did you know it’s really hard to be well when the only place you feel safe is your dreams?” 

Asami sighed, “I do Korra. I do..” 

“I dreamed of you so much,” Korra started and looked up to meet Asami’s eyes. “Sometimes I’d have the same dream over and over again. You in my arms, forty, fifty years from now. Sometimes I didn’t dream at all.” 

By now, Asami could feel her own tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. “Korra…” 

“No, please. I need to tell you this. I need to…”

“I understand.”

Korra took a couple of steps back and leaned against the wall next to the window. “I started thinking about going away when I stopped dreaming of you. My fears found their way to my dreams and I… I didn’t feel safe there either. I still don’t.” Korra ran her fingers through her hair. “It’s the job… The images, the noise… Sometimes it’s all I see. Every person I ever shot comes back to haunt me. I remember every single face. And all those people I couldn’t help… Children… I can’t… I know it’s not my job to save the world but when I joined the army, I thought I could change things, you know? I thought I’d go away, forget about you, change the things that bothered me, do some good but- it doesn’t go that way.” 

Asami walked around the couch and picked up the blanket, wrapping it around her shoulders again. On the way back she flicked the heating up and rubbed her eyes as best as she could, willing the tears away when she moved to face Korra again.

“I went to see a doctor four months ago.” Korra mumbled again. “I guess it’s not surprising I dream of war when I’ve been in a couple myself. I just never expected it to affect me so much. I thought I was strong, you know? I mean, look at me. I could take on three healthy, grown men on my own but, at the end of the day, I’ll still come back home and cry myself to sleep because I know I’m messed up and all I feel when I close my eyes is pain. I don’t want to do this to you.” 

Try as she might, Asami couldn’t keep her feelings in any longer. The sob that escaped her had been threatening to burst since Korra came over and the words she wanted to say were on the tip of her tongue.

“I know you’re messed up, Korra. I figured as much. You don’t smile the way you did before and sometimes when you speak, you have this look… This expression that comes from within, if I stare long enough, I might just see what you’ve seen.” 

“I’m gonna go away, Asami.” Korra started again but Asami reached out to place a hand on her shoulder.

“Is this why you pushed me away? To try and deal with yourself? To let everything settle down?” 

“I…” Korra hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should let it all out. But she’d already started, might as well finish. “I got discharged three months ago.” Asami gasped once more and squeezed Korra’s shoulder. “I know, I know, I should have told you. Someone. But I wanted to.. I needed to deal with it myself. I’m sorry it took me so long, though.”

“Korra, It’s okay.” Asami said as her hand slid up so her fingers brushed through the strands of Korra’s hair. “You had no obligation to tell anyone.” 

“I know, but I wish I had.” Korra sighed before continuing. “I wish I weren’t so fragile. I should have been stronger. I’m afraid of my dreams, for fucks sakes! What kind of a soldier is so… so weak…” 

“You’re not weak Korra…” Asami stepped closer and her hands moved to weave through Korra’s hair. She pulled her in, whispering against her ear. “You’ve seen so much and I admire you so much, everyone does. You’re strong. So strong… Please-” Asami’s words died on her lips when she felt Korra’s hands fall to her hips and slide around them to pull her in tighter. “Don’t leave.” 

“Asami… I… I need to. I want to go somewhere where I can help out, where my being there won’t mean that people need to be afraid. Somewhere where I don’t have to carry my gun to bed ‘cause it’s not safe to sleep without it. Somewhere where… where my dreams won’t haunt me. I want to get better.” 

Asami pulled back just barely to look at her. “Then I’m coming with you.” 

“No. I can’t ask you that.” 

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” 

“Asam-”

“No, screw that. I’m not offering, I’m demanding! I demand you let me in, in here,” She slid a hand to Korra’s chest, pushing into her skin, “I demand you let me give you everything I’ve always dreamed of giving! Give me a chance to show you that you don’t have to be alone. Because yeah, you might be messed up but so am I and god, Korra, I love you, I love you so much and this- I don’t want to say goodbye to you again! I can’t. I won’t.” Asami took a long breath when the last of her words finally slipped out and she finally felt the tears that had already started falling down her cheeks.

“Do you really mean that?” Korra managed to murmur in a quiet, unsure voice.

“I love you, Korra. I almost lost you six years ago and I’ll be damned if I lose you again. I want you, if you’ll have me… If you want to give us a chance, give yourself a chance, I’ll be there for you. When you want me to be there, I will. I’ll hold you and kiss you, I’ll wrap you in my arms when you have a nightmare, I’ll rub your back when you need soothing, if you’ll let me. If you want me.. I… I want you.”

Korra’s lips curled in a small smile and she let her head rest on Asami’s shoulder. “I came here to say goodbye… I should have known you’d never settle for something so stupid.”

“Idiot…” Asami murmured against her hair, inhaling her familiar, soothing scent. “How could I ever?” 

“Should have known.” 

“I bet you did.” Asami chuckled when Korra pulled back. Her hands immediately moved to cup Korra’s cheeks as she brushed her thumbs over them, wiping away the tears that had started sliding down.

“You know me too well,” Korra chuckled through her tears and pulled Asami closer, leaning up to press her lips against Asami’s. “I want you, too. But-”

Asami pulled back in time to avoid Korra’s lips, but she remained hovering close. “No buts Korra. If you want me, I’m yours. For whatever amount of time. But you need to be sure of that because I don’t want you doubting yourself because of me, ever. I want this. I want  _ you. _ No matter the odds and wherever you might wanna go. I’ll be with you. I’ll give you space when you need it, I’ll be close when you pull me in. Hell, I’ll push you away when I need time for my own thoughts to settle but- I want you through all that.” 

“You know, you should put all that on paper. It would make a damn good romance novel.” Korra chuckled as the words left her and her hands pressed into the fabric of Asami’s shirt. 

Asami simply welcomed them with a warm smile and slid her hands to the back of Korra’s hands, fingers twirling through her hair. “Are you going to make more fun of me or are you going to kiss me? ‘Cause this seems like that time in the book where the guy gets the girl and they live happily ever after.” 

“Can the girl get the girl though?” Korra perked up a little and her eyes shone in a way Asami remembered from all those years ago.

“She already has.” Asami murmured and leaned down a little, just enough to meet Korra and the warmth of her lips, so familiar and so soothing. “A long time ago,” She spoke into the kiss before Korra deepened it and pressed herself closer to Asami.

“She sure has…” Korra murmured into another kiss as her lips spread into a smile, one that could warm Asami’s heart even in the sharpest winter.

* * *

 

Hours later, Korra was slumped against the couch, with a goofy grin on her lips and remnants of warmth in her chest. 

So she didn’t get a goodbye. Or an end that she came to deliver. So what if her plans didn’t go accordingly?  

She got something a lot better.

Asami.

Wrapped in her arms, with her head on Korra’s shoulder and her warm, wanting lips on Korra’s skin. 

And even as the ever-present, burdening thoughts circled the edges of Korra’s mind, she felt good. She felt warm and cozy and loved.

She finally felt safe again.


	16. I found you all alone, shaking, tired, looking lost, I came to take you home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well that's done. Hope you enjoyed the ride.

Korra couldn’t remember the last time she felt this good. 

It was nice to wake up to a warm, lazy summer day, even if she did hate the whole process of awakening or mornings in general. But what made waking up bearable and most certainly worth it was the sight she got to wake up to every day for the past eighteen months. And the sight she’d see for the rest of her life, if she had any say in it.

Asami was sleeping on her side facing Korra, features of her beautiful face half-covered with her dark hair splayed over it. The rest fell lightly over her shoulder and disappeared somewhere behind her back where Korra couldn’t see, at least not from this position. One of her hands was tucked under the pillow and the other pulled up to her face, fingers barely grazing her own chin. She had the most adorable smile on her lips, a tiny, barely noticeable one, but Korra would notice it always, in the way her cheeks were puffier than usual and her lips curled just slightly at the ends. 

The mornings she got to wake up before Asami, Korra cherished more than any other moment she could ever experience. They were moments of complete and utter intimacy shared between the two of them, moments that would etch themselves on the edges of Korra’s heart, joint with the rest of such moments to forever stay right there where they were needed the most. Asami never stayed asleep for much longer but in those fleeting, careful mornings, Korra got to see all the beauty that was Asami Sato, in her most natural, purest form. 

Keeping still and resisting the urge to touch her wonderful girlfriend was proving harder with each passing moment. Korra’s breathing was shallow, labored as her eyes kept a steady gaze on Asami’s face, but her fingers trailed light, freckling brushes over the covers, edging closer to Asami’s figure every couple of seconds. When her composure finally crumbled, Korra let her fingers slide across the small, empty space between them and over Asami’s unclothed shoulder to lay and rest there until she decided what part of the wonder before her she’d like to feel next. 

Minutes passed in complete silence and Korra’s lips began curling in a smile when she noticed Asami’s shoulder twitch a little under her touch. Asami’s brows furrowed for the briefest of moments and Korra barely managed to suppress a chuckle at the action.

Waking up to Asami sleeping next to her was absolutely wonderful, but watching her wake up was otherworldly. It looked like extreme cuteness of divine proportions coupled with pure, unearthly beauty. And only Asami could pull it off, of course, and Korra would bet her life on it. 

When Asami first opened her eyes, it was just barely. A tiny squint to take in her surroundings, but enough to make her smile when, even in her sleepy haze, blue welcomed her. She’d never get enough of Korra’s eyes.

She blinked a couple of times, with a lazy smile spread across her lips, and opened her eyes fully when Korra’s fingers slipped over her shoulder and to the back of her neck. Asami craned her head a little, pursing her lips when Korra ghosted over them with her own. 

“Mmmmorning.” Asami hummed, sliding her hand to Korra’s jaw, fingers dancing over her soft skin. 

“Morning beautiful,” Korra murmured and their lips brushed lightly, igniting tiny little sparks all through Asami’s body. “Sleep well?” Korra remained within reach, but her lips still hadn’t descended upon Asami’s own.

“Very…” Asami whispered, her lips curling in a grin, “The little I actually got to sleep, that is…”   
Korra smirked and pressed her lips firmer to Asami’s, lingering for a while just like that before her own lips parted slightly and she welcomed the warmth of Asami’s mouth. Their tongues met in a slow, languid kiss that seemed to stretch on until both of them were breathless and their lungs burnt from the lack of air. 

When she lay back down, Asami quickly moved after her and laid her head on Korra’s shoulder, neck burrowed in the crook of her warm, sweet-smelling neck. 

“So,” She hummed against Korra’s skin.

“I’ve been thinking,” Korra cut her off before she could say more, but paused after the words left her. 

“Yes…?” Asami tilted her head a little, lips brushing against Korra’s neck.

“Maybe we could go see my parents before we return to Republic City.” Korra mumbled, her voice barely audible.

“I’d like tha- Wait.” Asami perched herself up on her elbow, staring at Korra. “You want to go back to Republic City?” Her lips twitched a little, begging to curl in a smile, but she managed to stop it from forming for now.

“I…” Korra started then took a deep, long breath before finally speaking. “Yes. I mean, if you want to, of course. I think I’ve been in hiding long enough and you can’t keep doing your work in intervals here and there, you own the whole firm and I don’t want to be the one causing all your progress to stand in one spot, unmoving.”

“Korra-” 

“I know what you’ll say-”

“No, you don’t.” Asami pressed the finger of her free hand to Korra’s lips. “I love you. I love this. You’re not preventing Future Industries from moving forward, Korra, if nothing else you’re helping me expand my ideas and build a couple more along the way. I have people who know how to do their job, without me watching over them all the time, and I want to be here, more than anything. I don’t have anything to worry about, besides maybe what we’ll have for breakfast.”

“Noodles?” Korra mumbled against her finger.

“We had that for dinner so no noodles.” Asami’s eyes narrowed before her lips pulled in a knowing smirk. “Oh fine, noodles.” She pulled her hand and away and laid back down on Korra’s shoulder, her hand now resting in the dip between her breasts.

“But I do want to go back.” Korra continued, her voice firmer now.

“I know.” 

“I miss everyone… And I wouldn’t mind having a nice little place there with you, even if we do decide we want to travel around the world some more.” 

Asami smiled with her lips once again pressed to Korra’s neck. “I thought we were running away, hiding.” 

Korra couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped her even if she tried.

“Nah,” She murmured, sliding a hand to Asami’s waist. “I stopped running a long time ago. I’m just traveling across the world with my favourite girl.” 

Asami’s lips grazed over her skin playfully. “Your favourite girl? I thought I was your only girl.” 

“One and only.” Korra managed, swallowing the lump in her throat as her heart sped up a little. “I love you Asami.” She murmured, voice thick with love and desire that had begun forming somewhere in the pit of her stomach.

“I love you too Korra,” Asami whispered and tugged on a patch of Korra’s skin, pulling it between her teeth and sliding her tongue over it slowly. The shiver it elicited was absolutely wonderful, especially when Korra’s arms snuck around her and her warm hands pressed into Asami’s waist. 

Their morning was nothing short of perfect and with as much love in their hearts, both Korra and Asami knew every morning from then on would continue being as wonderful. If not, they’d make it perfect. Because they had each other and everything else wasn’t nearly as important. 

They found each other again and nothing would keep them away from one another, wherever they might be. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
